FabSwingers.com > Forums > Swinging Club Discussion > Awkward single guys in clubs
Awkward single guys in clubs
Jump to: Newest in thread
| |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |||
| |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |||
| |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |||
"Been on the receiving end as a couple many a time. Together we only played soft swap and our club meets were pre arranged. I also visited as a single guy and limit my interactions with couples to the bar area, if you are seated im not approaching. Always assumed seated was either acclimatising to the club, not interested in who they could see, were waiting for a meet or waiting for friends. The couples and single females own the power dynamic in clubs, I was happy to respect that and enjoy chatting to the staff and other singles." I'd always always be seated in a club because I can't stand up for very long. Don't assume seated means "doesn't want to chat". I think we found it harder in the bigger club we went to, because I can't stand in the bar or wander round incessantly. We went to a much smaller place where even stood at the bar, you were in close proximity to seated people. We got on much better there. | |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |||
"Been on the receiving end as a couple many a time. Together we only played soft swap and our club meets were pre arranged. I also visited as a single guy and limit my interactions with couples to the bar area, if you are seated im not approaching. Always assumed seated was either acclimatising to the club, not interested in who they could see, were waiting for a meet or waiting for friends. The couples and single females own the power dynamic in clubs, I was happy to respect that and enjoy chatting to the staff and other singles." We wouldn’t understand being seated as don’t approach... same as others, if we sit down it’s normally because there’s a free chair, nothing deeper than that. We will probably turn the chairs to face out a bit, open body language etc. | |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |||
| |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |||
"You're in a club. Everyone is entitled to be there and entitled to talk to who they like. Maybe stop assuming that every attempt at conversation is a move for sex. If you wanted a private conversation with the couple then you could always go somewhere more private. " I suppose he could have been wanting to talk about the cricket  | |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |||
| |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |||
| |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |||
"You read it here single men..... Get yourself to club or social and don’t chat to any couples until they approach you first.... If you attempt to be social first , you are now deemed a cock blocker..,,, " Yeah, exactly what I didn’t say. You are unlikely to be viewed as being social if you interrupt a conversation. You’ll do much better being social with those who are not otherwise engaged. | |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |||
"You read it here single men..... Get yourself to club or social and don’t chat to any couples until they approach you first.... If you attempt to be social first , you are now deemed a cock blocker..,,, Yeah, exactly what I didn’t say. You are unlikely to be viewed as being social if you interrupt a conversation. You’ll do much better being social with those who are not otherwise engaged." Don’t mind me ....... I usually read between the lines..... the title of your thread means nothing..... | |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |||
"You read it here single men..... Get yourself to club or social and don’t chat to any couples until they approach you first.... If you attempt to be social first , you are now deemed a cock blocker..,,, " Rule 1of being a single man in a club - you can't do anything right. | |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |||
"You read it here single men..... Get yourself to club or social and don’t chat to any couples until they approach you first.... If you attempt to be social first , you are now deemed a cock blocker..,,, Yeah, exactly what I didn’t say. You are unlikely to be viewed as being social if you interrupt a conversation. You’ll do much better being social with those who are not otherwise engaged." Never really been to a club social but do they not have couples only? | |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |||
| |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |||
"No wander single guys fear approaching couples in a club with a thread like this. What's the harm in chatting to them though and being friendly?" Probably why ive never been i wouldnt wanna feel like im encroaching or interupting anyone. | |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |||
"No wander single guys fear approaching couples in a club with a thread like this. What's the harm in chatting to them though and being friendly? Probably why ive never been i wouldnt wanna feel like im encroaching or interupting anyone." We go there to socialise too so it's a given that if someone approached us we would chat to them, doesnt mean play will happen but what's the harm in being friendly | |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |||
"No wander single guys fear approaching couples in a club with a thread like this. What's the harm in chatting to them though and being friendly?"  | |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |||
"You read it here single men..... Get yourself to club or social and don’t chat to any couples until they approach you first.... If you attempt to be social first , you are now deemed a cock blocker..,,, Yeah, exactly what I didn’t say. You are unlikely to be viewed as being social if you interrupt a conversation. You’ll do much better being social with those who are not otherwise engaged." On the other hand, you are unlikely to be viewed as being social if you are standing at the bar in a little group with no intention of allowing anyone else into your conversation. People go to the bar to get drinks and quite often conversations between strangers start there. As I said before, if you were unhappy with the situation then move away from the bar. | |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |||
"You read it here single men..... Get yourself to club or social and don’t chat to any couples until they approach you first.... If you attempt to be social first , you are now deemed a cock blocker..,,, Rule 1of being a single man in a club - you can't do anything right." I know it's hard to know what to do sometimes haha. I usually find it more comfortable to join a small group of people in their conversation rather than a single or couple. Didn't really think people would mind. Seems like I need to take more precautions on which group of people I approach to say hi. | |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |||
| |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |||
"You read it here single men..... Get yourself to club or social and don’t chat to any couples until they approach you first.... If you attempt to be social first , you are now deemed a cock blocker..,,, " Haha..yes if your a single guy just loiter about till your approached and avoid eye contact or you will be deemed weired...lol | |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |||
"You read it here single men..... Get yourself to club or social and don’t chat to any couples until they approach you first.... If you attempt to be social first , you are now deemed a cock blocker..,,, Rule 1of being a single man in a club - you can't do anything right." Not even get into the club...lol | |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |||
"Thing is If the mr of the op didn’t have a women with a pair of tits with him he would be another one of the awkward guys in the club. Love this thread. It shows exactly the kind of couples to avoid in a club and on fab "well said ! | |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |||
"We haven’t had one of these threads in a while... Just reminiscing, probably a year ago we were stood at the bar of one of our regular clubs, and we were busy chatting up another couple we hadn’t met before. A (young) single guy wanders over and inserts himself in the conversation. We were all polite but not interested. A few minutes later another single guy comes over and does the same thing. Again, think we were polite but might have been a bit of frustration creeping in. My point is, as a couple we were busy chatting up another couple in the same way as singles chat each other up in the pub. We didn’t want to be interrupted / cock blocked by a stranger. It was busy in the club, and there were other couples stood around on their own who would have been fine having a chat with one of these guys. I’m trying to be constructive here, single guys often complain that couples are rude. Maybe some are. But on occasions like that, if as a single guy you pick your moment better you’ll enjoy yourself more." Would it have bothered you the same if it had been another couple approaching you and 'interrupting/cockblocking'? | |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |||
"No wander single guys fear approaching couples in a club with a thread like this. What's the harm in chatting to them though and being friendly? Probably why ive never been i wouldnt wanna feel like im encroaching or interupting anyone. We go there to socialise too so it's a given that if someone approached us we would chat to them, doesnt mean play will happen but what's the harm in being friendly" | |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |||
"Thing is If the mr of the op didn’t have a women with a pair of tits with him he would be another one of the awkward guys in the club. Love this thread. It shows exactly the kind of couples to avoid in a club and on fab " | |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |||
| |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |||
"We haven’t had one of these threads in a while... Just reminiscing, probably a year ago we were stood at the bar of one of our regular clubs, and we were busy chatting up another couple we hadn’t met before. A (young) single guy wanders over and inserts himself in the conversation. We were all polite but not interested. A few minutes later another single guy comes over and does the same thing. Again, think we were polite but might have been a bit of frustration creeping in. My point is, as a couple we were busy chatting up another couple in the same way as singles chat each other up in the pub. We didn’t want to be interrupted / cock blocked by a stranger. It was busy in the club, and there were other couples stood around on their own who would have been fine having a chat with one of these guys. I’m trying to be constructive here, single guys often complain that couples are rude. Maybe some are. But on occasions like that, if as a single guy you pick your moment better you’ll enjoy yourself more." Would you react the same way had it been a single female? | |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |||
| |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |||
"You read it here single men..... Get yourself to club or social and don’t chat to any couples until they approach you first.... If you attempt to be social first , you are now deemed a cock blocker..,,, Rule 1of being a single man in a club - you can't do anything right." Yep back to single men bashing I see. You're damned if you do and damned if you don't! | |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |||
| |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |||
| |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |||
"Thing is If the mr of the op didn’t have a women with a pair of tits with him he would be another one of the awkward guys in the club. Love this thread. It shows exactly the kind of couples to avoid in a club and on fab "Original post just screams of entitlement, the kind of entitlement single guys going to clubs are usually accused of. If you go to a mixed club, accept that everyone has paid their share and has the right to be there, including single guys. They are not entitled to sex true, but it is accepted that they will try and make connections with people. If even the single guys behaving decently are such an issue, stick to couples only nights. | |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |||
"Thing is If the mr of the op didn’t have a women with a pair of tits with him he would be another one of the awkward guys in the club. Love this thread. It shows exactly the kind of couples to avoid in a club and on fab
Original post just screams of entitlement, the kind of entitlement single guys going to clubs are usually accused of. If you go to a mixed club, accept that everyone has paid their share and has the right to be there, including single guys. They are not entitled to sex true, but it is accepted that they will try and make connections with people. If even the single guys behaving decently are such an issue, stick to couples only nights. " | |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |||
"Thing is If the mr of the op didn’t have a women with a pair of tits with him he would be another one of the awkward guys in the club. Love this thread. It shows exactly the kind of couples to avoid in a club and on fab
Original post just screams of entitlement, the kind of entitlement single guys going to clubs are usually accused of. If you go to a mixed club, accept that everyone has paid their share and has the right to be there, including single guys. They are not entitled to sex true, but it is accepted that they will try and make connections with people. If even the single guys behaving decently are such an issue, stick to couples only nights. "Nah, I’m just saying read the room and pick your moment, that’s all | |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |||
| |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |||
"We haven’t had one of these threads in a while... Just reminiscing, probably a year ago we were stood at the bar of one of our regular clubs, and we were busy chatting up another couple we hadn’t met before. A (young) single guy wanders over and inserts himself in the conversation. We were all polite but not interested. A few minutes later another single guy comes over and does the same thing. Again, think we were polite but might have been a bit of frustration creeping in. My point is, as a couple we were busy chatting up another couple in the same way as singles chat each other up in the pub. We didn’t want to be interrupted / cock blocked by a stranger. It was busy in the club, and there were other couples stood around on their own who would have been fine having a chat with one of these guys. I’m trying to be constructive here, single guys often complain that couples are rude. Maybe some are. But on occasions like that, if as a single guy you pick your moment better you’ll enjoy yourself more." I am going to be devils advocate here. The guys may have known the other couple. I know a lot of couples in the scene, some play with single guys, some don’t but happy to. Normally if a couple I know are speaking to another couple I normally don’t interrupt. I certainly don’t if I don’t know either couple. If I know both couples I may say hello and ask how they are. It’s all about reading the situation | |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |||
| |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |||
"I can understand some of the comments from both couples and males . Personally I have always found it difficult to talk to people I don't know . But the strange thing is I've had far more success striking up a conversation in the smoking area than any where else in a club yet not sure why that is ." It's because everyone there is just having a fag and making small talk. No posing, no performance, no attempt to attract anyone's attention. | |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |||
"Thing is If the mr of the op didn’t have a women with a pair of tits with him he would be another one of the awkward guys in the club. Love this thread. It shows exactly the kind of couples to avoid in a club and on fab
Original post just screams of entitlement, the kind of entitlement single guys going to clubs are usually accused of. If you go to a mixed club, accept that everyone has paid their share and has the right to be there, including single guys. They are not entitled to sex true, but it is accepted that they will try and make connections with people. If even the single guys behaving decently are such an issue, stick to couples only nights.
Nah, I’m just saying read the room and pick your moment, that’s all "Good and reasonable advice and just what normal social etiquette would demand. | |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |||
"We haven’t had one of these threads in a while... Just reminiscing, probably a year ago we were stood at the bar of one of our regular clubs, and we were busy chatting up another couple we hadn’t met before. A (young) single guy wanders over and inserts himself in the conversation. We were all polite but not interested. A few minutes later another single guy comes over and does the same thing. Again, think we were polite but might have been a bit of frustration creeping in. My point is, as a couple we were busy chatting up another couple in the same way as singles chat each other up in the pub. We didn’t want to be interrupted / cock blocked by a stranger. It was busy in the club, and there were other couples stood around on their own who would have been fine having a chat with one of these guys. I’m trying to be constructive here, single guys often complain that couples are rude. Maybe some are. But on occasions like that, if as a single guy you pick your moment better you’ll enjoy yourself more. I am going to be devils advocate here. The guys may have known the other couple. I know a lot of couples in the scene, some play with single guys, some don’t but happy to. Normally if a couple I know are speaking to another couple I normally don’t interrupt. I certainly don’t if I don’t know either couple. If I know both couples I may say hello and ask how they are. It’s all about reading the situation " | |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |||
 | |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |||
"Interesting thread..... and yeah can see both sides really .. I for one wouldn’t approach 2 couples talking because well it’s 2 couples talking , I may walk past and say hi folks, but I wouldn’t step in and introduce myself , that kinda reeks of over confidence and I don’t like that in people ... Sometimes I’ll walk straight upto a couple and freely chat but I won’t be a pest , some people are just sooooo hard to read it does make it tough at times for us single guys.. Best place to chat to anyone is at the car grabbing a drink - always find this the easiest ice breaker "Precisely ^^^^ that’s all I’m saying | |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |||
"You read it here single men..... Get yourself to club or social and don’t chat to any couples until they approach you first.... If you attempt to be social first , you are now deemed a cock blocker..,,, Rule 1of being a single man in a club - you can't do anything right." Us single guys are fucked but not in a good way lol | |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |||
"No wander single guys fear approaching couples in a club with a thread like this. What's the harm in chatting to them though and being friendly?" I agree am scared even to go to a club because I would feel I was not wanted as am a single guy. | |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |||
| |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |||
| |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |||
| |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |||
| |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |||
"There's a lot of defeatism coming from single guys in this thread. It's unwarranted. Single men can approach couples, other singles, or groups and have a conversation with them. It's fine. No one is saying they can't. I've done it many times myself. What isn't fine is inserting yourself into a private conversation. Private conversations and public conversations look different. I don't think I could explain what that difference is, and I probably err on the "play it safe" side more than necessary. But you can tell if you pay attention. Paying attention to social cues is the number one skill you need in a club. The smoking room is an easier place to talk with people. It's a smaller group and people come and go. Conversation there tends to be public. It doesn't matter if you don't smoke. The same applies with the hot tub (please don't smoke in the hot tub)." Perfectly put bud ! | |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |||
| |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |||
"As a single man you really can not do right for doing wrong i feel. And on top if it single males a ripped off with the price for the pleasure ha ha" I feel for u bud | |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |||
| |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |||
 . | |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |||
| |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |||
"Never really had this problem at clubs, maybe because I usually speak to people on here and arrange to see them at club. Also tend to be a tad shy, find that hot tub/sauna is a good place to strike up a conversation, it’s not all about wanting a fuck, chatting about day to day stuff often leads to finding you’re on the same wavelength and fun sometimes follows. Go as a single guy with no expectation and you may have a fun time. I do agree that clubs usually charge single guys more but unfortunately that’s the way it is" Exactly this | |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |||
| |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |||
| |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |||
| |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |||
| |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |||
| |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |||
| |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |||
| |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |||
| |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |||
"Thanks for the pointers Myself i am just a wall flower when i go tyo a club. I would never approach anyone Sure i will come over if it is a couple i know and briefly say hi if i have not seen them for ages But god no? I dont approach anyone in a club really" Feel free to approach me in a club anytime!! | |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |||
| |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |||
| |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |||
| |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |||
"Thanks for the pointers Myself i am just a wall flower when i go tyo a club. I would never approach anyone Sure i will come over if it is a couple i know and briefly say hi if i have not seen them for ages But god no? I dont approach anyone in a club really Feel free to approach me in a club anytime!! " Hell yes Fancy a drink with me? (Offers a tall seat at the bar) | |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |||
"There's a lot of defeatism coming from single guys in this thread. It's unwarranted. Single men can approach couples, other singles, or groups and have a conversation with them. It's fine. No one is saying they can't. I've done it many times myself. What isn't fine is inserting yourself into a private conversation. Private conversations and public conversations look different. I don't think I could explain what that difference is, and I probably err on the "play it safe" side more than necessary. But you can tell if you pay attention. Paying attention to social cues is the number one skill you need in a club. The smoking room is an easier place to talk with people. It's a smaller group and people come and go. Conversation there tends to be public. It doesn't matter if you don't smoke. The same applies with the hot tub (please don't smoke in the hot tub)." No defeat here my friend I am one of the single males who does well, we can discuss club social dynamics too however | |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |||
"We’ve seen it quite a bit actually where there were both couples and ladies open to interacting with single guys at clubs, but the single guys were either not paying attention or reading the room correctly. Instead they go after the people who are already busy as it were. " I agree about reading the room OP, I also know who to avoid and not when I am out. When I go as a single male i am no where near as noticeable compared to when I have a gorgeous lady on my arm, Then I remember, some couples would not give me the time of day, not even acknowledge my existence, then all of a sudden, I am their best friend and they come flying over I like to make my excuses and leave Swings and round abouts I guess | |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |||
"We haven’t had one of these threads in a while... Just reminiscing, probably a year ago we were stood at the bar of one of our regular clubs, and we were busy chatting up another couple we hadn’t met before. A (young) single guy wanders over and inserts himself in the conversation. We were all polite but not interested. A few minutes later another single guy comes over and does the same thing. Again, think we were polite but might have been a bit of frustration creeping in. My point is, as a couple we were busy chatting up another couple in the same way as singles chat each other up in the pub. We didn’t want to be interrupted / cock blocked by a stranger. It was busy in the club, and there were other couples stood around on their own who would have been fine having a chat with one of these guys. I’m trying to be constructive here, single guys often complain that couples are rude. Maybe some are. But on occasions like that, if as a single guy you pick your moment better you’ll enjoy yourself more." Would I be right in thinking these guys would have been less of an intrusion if you'd fancied them? Meanwhile, somewhere on Fab there's a thread started by a single man talking about horrible arrogant couples who made them unwelcome and wouldn't give them the time of day. We feel for single guys at clubs, they often get the dirty end of the stick. It could have been these guys first time at a club, first time trying to approach anyone. E | |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |||
"We’ve seen it quite a bit actually where there were both couples and ladies open to interacting with single guys at clubs, but the single guys were either not paying attention or reading the room correctly. Instead they go after the people who are already busy as it were. " Stop sounding so high and mighty about it then, you’ve made you’re point that single guys aren’t really welcome in the clubs at all! | |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |||
"We’ve seen it quite a bit actually where there were both couples and ladies open to interacting with single guys at clubs, but the single guys were either not paying attention or reading the room correctly. Instead they go after the people who are already busy as it were. Stop sounding so high and mighty about it then, you’ve made you’re point that single guys aren’t really welcome in the clubs at all! " We've frequently been asked to look after new single guys at the club we used to frequent because we made them feel welcome and comfortable. I think it's not easy to be a new single guy at a club. Why wouldn't anyone want to make them welcome? E | |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |||
"We’ve seen it quite a bit actually where there were both couples and ladies open to interacting with single guys at clubs, but the single guys were either not paying attention or reading the room correctly. Instead they go after the people who are already busy as it were. Stop sounding so high and mighty about it then, you’ve made you’re point that single guys aren’t really welcome in the clubs at all! " . As a single guy that has met the OP’s I have never found them high and mighty instead I have found them friendly and outgoing and quite knowledgeable with regards to the club scene.They have always been respectful towards me as I believe I have been respectful towards them. | |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |||
"We’ve seen it quite a bit actually where there were both couples and ladies open to interacting with single guys at clubs, but the single guys were either not paying attention or reading the room correctly. Instead they go after the people who are already busy as it were. Stop sounding so high and mighty about it then, you’ve made you’re point that single guys aren’t really welcome in the clubs at all! We've frequently been asked to look after new single guys at the club we used to frequent because we made them feel welcome and comfortable. I think it's not easy to be a new single guy at a club. Why wouldn't anyone want to make them welcome? E " because couples see the clubs as solely theirs and us singletons are like lepers it stinks | |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |||
| |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |||
| |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |||
"We’ve seen it quite a bit actually where there were both couples and ladies open to interacting with single guys at clubs, but the single guys were either not paying attention or reading the room correctly. Instead they go after the people who are already busy as it were. Stop sounding so high and mighty about it then, you’ve made you’re point that single guys aren’t really welcome in the clubs at all! . As a single guy that has met the OP’s I have never found them high and mighty instead I have found them friendly and outgoing and quite knowledgeable with regards to the club scene.They have always been respectful towards me as I believe I have been respectful towards them." Cheers
We have a few really nice single guy friends who we met at clubs, polite, respectful etc and we have lovely chats with them.
| |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |||
" Rule 1of being a single man in a club - you can't do anything right." Rule No.1 of being a single man in a club - go with a female friend | |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |||
| |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |||
| |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |||
"Been to most of the clubs been swinging for years we never chat with single guys and if the fo come over we just tell them we are not interested they soon get the message " So friendly conversations are out of the question?? Ha ha so glad i don't come across you in a club | |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |||
| |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |||
| |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |||
"Been to most of the clubs been swinging for years we never chat with single guys and if the fo come over we just tell them we are not interested they soon get the message " Oh my , I thought swinging was not all about sex and it was more about socializing..... Time after time , I see new single guys being given the advice to go to a club and not expect sex... Don’t sit around not making eye contact with anyone? Be social, try to talk to everyone, make yourself stand out from the wanking zombies roaming around..... Now I read this ..... thank you for your honesty | |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |||
| |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |||
"Been to most of the clubs been swinging for years we never chat with single guys and if the fo come over we just tell them we are not interested they soon get the message Oh my , I thought swinging was not all about sex and it was more about socializing..... Time after time , I see new single guys being given the advice to go to a club and not expect sex... Don’t sit around not making eye contact with anyone? Be social, try to talk to everyone, make yourself stand out from the wanking zombies roaming around..... Now I read this ..... thank you for your honesty" & there in is the dilemma... I'd couples are talking, don't talk to them as you're a cock blocker...  know your place... Don't talk or look at us as you're just being plain weird.. 
Oh we like that guy but he won't talk to us...?
I love the club life and Club F is my go to place, all I would say on this is if you're a single guy is try and be friendly... Don't think that you're a clown as everyone M n F have to start somewhere!
Always speak to the staff as they are always there to support, offer advice and hold your hand as we all once a noob..!
Last thing, not everyone will like you nor be your cup of tea, yet who wants to be everyones cup of tea... Hmmm NO not me
 | |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |||
| |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |||
"A lot of swinging couples are just not interested in single guys. Perhaps they need a “wristband” system. Red- not interested, green-up for it. " Hahaha LOVE it..! 
Club F aren't like that tho they are very inclusive
Thanks to all you amazing guys n gals I miss you all..
 | |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |||
"Thanks for the pointers Myself i am just a wall flower when i go tyo a club. I would never approach anyone Sure i will come over if it is a couple i know and briefly say hi if i have not seen them for ages But god no? I dont approach anyone in a club really Feel free to approach me in a club anytime!! Hell yes Fancy a drink with me? (Offers a tall seat at the bar)" The tall seats are the best. | |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |||
"We’ve seen it quite a bit actually where there were both couples and ladies open to interacting with single guys at clubs, but the single guys were either not paying attention or reading the room correctly. Instead they go after the people who are already busy as it were. Stop sounding so high and mighty about it then, you’ve made you’re point that single guys aren’t really welcome in the clubs at all! We've frequently been asked to look after new single guys at the club we used to frequent because we made them feel welcome and comfortable. I think it's not easy to be a new single guy at a club. Why wouldn't anyone want to make them welcome? E because couples see the clubs as solely theirs and us singletons are like lepers it stinks " In the same way some single guys don't do themselves any favours, neither do some couples. There are great single guys and great couples. Not everyone has a poor attitude to single guys. E | |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |||
"Been to most of the clubs been swinging for years we never chat with single guys and if the fo come over we just tell them we are not interested they soon get the message Oh my , I thought swinging was not all about sex and it was more about socializing..... Time after time , I see new single guys being given the advice to go to a club and not expect sex... Don’t sit around not making eye contact with anyone? Be social, try to talk to everyone, make yourself stand out from the wanking zombies roaming around..... Now I read this ..... thank you for your honesty" This. ^ E | |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |||
| |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |||
"I think as has been said a few times it is all about how you approach the situation. We found ourselves in a hot tub with an older single guy at our first visit to a club some time ago and we were really self conscious at first but the chat was social and polite. Similarly we visited a different club with a friend who we know outside of the scene and whilst we chatted with him socially we had some others come and sit near us. No problem there but a tad awkward when they start wanking as they stare without saying a word. This might be harsh but their approach put us off trying to engage in any conversation. Our friend called them out but we ended up retreating to a private room. " Ahh the white knight trick. Method:- three men go to a club, one chats up a couple, being very pleasant. 10 minutes later (after hiding round the corner) the other two approach their friend and the couple wanking furiously and POW the couple invites man one to a private room. | |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |||
| |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |||
| |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |||
| |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |||
"We’ve seen it quite a bit actually where there were both couples and ladies open to interacting with single guys at clubs, but the single guys were either not paying attention or reading the room correctly. Instead they go after the people who are already busy as it were. I agree about reading the room OP, I also know who to avoid and not when I am out. When I go as a single male i am no where near as noticeable compared to when I have a gorgeous lady on my arm, Then I remember, some couples would not give me the time of day, not even acknowledge my existence, then all of a sudden, I am their best friend and they come flying over I like to make my excuses and leave Swings and round abouts I guess " ha ha the irony! Makes me laugh when I've done that! | |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |||
 | |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |||
"Only ever experienced this once at Chams a long time ago. It wasn’t even a chasing game it was sleeves rolled up I’m getting stuck in whilst we were playing openly. A couple of other guys were waiting very patiently and tbh on the cusp of being invited to join us for our first + more than one other. Lou was getting turned on and relaxed about it all and then ‘Stormin Norman’ dives in. Politely asked him to back off twice and he was having non of it. Spoiled it really but then we put ourselves in a vulnerable situation. We have had more dramas with persistent husbands or male partners as couples TBH. That is embarrassing for the lady and on one occasion she looked like she felt totally inadequate, very attractive too! Almost felt like asking her to join us alone and f@cking her nause of a husband off!! We love playing with single guys at clubs and always take things slow. For us no kissing and no missionary and then everyone is easily free to speak up and suggest a time out, just our way of doing things. Met some great guys at Darlaston and Newport. Always try to leave the play scenario all smiling and ALL happy no that one has been upset. Single Guys Lives Matter lol " | |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |||
| |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |||
| |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |||
| |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |||
"Wow... I've not yet been to a club, but i kinda imagined that the bar area was just like any other social area, where people mingle and chat, get a vibe of each other and 'work the room'... I'm exceptionally friendly and would talk to anyone and everyone and it wouldn't occur to me that i wouldn't be welcome based on my gender /looks /whether i was single or accompanied. Isn't the whole point of a club that you meet other people? Obviously if i was there with my Dom, i would be very focussed on him and his pleasure, but i'd still be friendly and pleasant and flirtatious with the whole club throughout the night" Working the room is a good way of putting it, and ladies are much more adept (unless they’re d*unk) at doing it in a friendly unaggressive way. Simple uncontroversial fact is that a single bloke inserting himself into an established small group conversation is usually going to look a little awkward and aggressive. However, if you stand at the bar, find someone who is not busy, and compliment them on their outfit, you’ll find that always works most of the time. | |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |||
| |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |||
"Wow... I've not yet been to a club, but i kinda imagined that the bar area was just like any other social area, where people mingle and chat, get a vibe of each other and 'work the room'... I'm exceptionally friendly and would talk to anyone and everyone and it wouldn't occur to me that i wouldn't be welcome based on my gender /looks /whether i was single or accompanied. Isn't the whole point of a club that you meet other people? Obviously if i was there with my Dom, i would be very focussed on him and his pleasure, but i'd still be friendly and pleasant and flirtatious with the whole club throughout the night Working the room is a good way of putting it, and ladies are much more adept (unless they’re d*unk) at doing it in a friendly unaggressive way. Simple uncontroversial fact is that a single bloke inserting himself into an established small group conversation is usually going to look a little awkward and aggressive. However, if you stand at the bar, find someone who is not busy, and compliment them on their outfit, you’ll find that always works most of the time. "it works with me | |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |||
| |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |||
"Been on the receiving end as a couple many a time. Together we only played soft swap and our club meets were pre arranged. I also visited as a single guy and limit my interactions with couples to the bar area, if you are seated im not approaching. Always assumed seated was either acclimatising to the club, not interested in who they could see, were waiting for a meet or waiting for friends. The couples and single females own the power dynamic in clubs, I was happy to respect that and enjoy chatting to the staff and other singles." This is how I've always behaved whenever I've been in a club, hung around the bar area by myself, try to look happy and friendly, hope to catch the eye from someone, and you know when they're interested.....
I've approached couples and been rebuked in many ways, sometimes friendly, other times less so. Rarely have I seen single females, but I have chatted with one or two. Again, reading body language is something you learn very quickly on the club scene.
Invariably, you get bored sitting/standing by yourself, so having a wander around the play areas is a natural thing to do, if only to pass the time! But now you have to balance your natural curiosity about what is going on, with not appearing a perv/conga participant/wank zombie. I've never been one of 'those guys' who loiter around the play zones hoping for an invite to play like a mouse under the dinner table waiting for crumbs to fall.....
As an alternative to your normal night in the pub with mates, a club visit will make an interesting change. DO NOT though, as a solo guy, think it's an easy way to find nsa sex with strangers. In my experience, using Fab is far easier, and easily more successful.
Would I recommend the club scene to a mate? No.
Would I recommend Fab to a mate? Yes, and have done... | |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |||
"Been on the receiving end as a couple many a time. Together we only played soft swap and our club meets were pre arranged. I also visited as a single guy and limit my interactions with couples to the bar area, if you are seated im not approaching. Always assumed seated was either acclimatising to the club, not interested in who they could see, were waiting for a meet or waiting for friends. The couples and single females own the power dynamic in clubs, I was happy to respect that and enjoy chatting to the staff and other singles. This is how I've always behaved whenever I've been in a club, hung around the bar area by myself, try to look happy and friendly, hope to catch the eye from someone, and you know when they're interested.....
I've approached couples and been rebuked in many ways, sometimes friendly, other times less so. Rarely have I seen single females, but I have chatted with one or two. Again, reading body language is something you learn very quickly on the club scene.
Invariably, you get bored sitting/standing by yourself, so having a wander around the play areas is a natural thing to do, if only to pass the time! But now you have to balance your natural curiosity about what is going on, with not appearing a perv/conga participant/wank zombie. I've never been one of 'those guys' who loiter around the play zones hoping for an invite to play like a mouse under the dinner table waiting for crumbs to fall.....
As an alternative to your normal night in the pub with mates, a club visit will make an interesting change. DO NOT though, as a solo guy, think it's an easy way to find nsa sex with strangers. In my experience, using Fab is far easier, and easily more successful.
Would I recommend the club scene to a mate? No.
Would I recommend Fab to a mate? Yes, and have done... " There used to be a bloke that went to Chams on non naked night and walk around naked with a hard on all night...I say walk he was like a hamster on a wheel! Sponsored wank walker. Whenever any public fun started he was like the runt of the litter....pain in the arse but f@cking funny to watch sometimes. Like your approach though and yeah when there are couples sat in corners like tailors dummies not even wanting to talk it must get boring. Point to note....if you ever see us at a club post current situation please come and say hi. Can't guarantee play but will at least have a chat....no need to sit under the table waiting for cheese either lol lol  | |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |||
"A lot of swinging couples are just not interested in single guys. Perhaps they need a “wristband” system. Red- not interested, green-up for it. " The wristband thing has come up before, seems to be done in other countries but not seen it in the UK. On balance, not really in favour, we are absolutely there to socialise first and as I say we have some great single guy friends. Sorry that some guys think this thread is negative about them, we have occasionally seen some odd/rude behaviour by couples as well, not denying it. It’s for the benefit of everyone that I point out at our regular clubs there are normally a few couples looking specifically for single guys. And a lot of them don’t seem to pick up on it. About a year ago we even pointed out to a little group of guys in the (big) hot tub that there were at least four ladies stood on their own at the bar in the other room. None of them moved. | |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |||
  | |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |||
"Been on the receiving end as a couple many a time. Together we only played soft swap and our club meets were pre arranged. I also visited as a single guy and limit my interactions with couples to the bar area, if you are seated im not approaching. Always assumed seated was either acclimatising to the club, not interested in who they could see, were waiting for a meet or waiting for friends. The couples and single females own the power dynamic in clubs, I was happy to respect that and enjoy chatting to the staff and other singles. This is how I've always behaved whenever I've been in a club, hung around the bar area by myself, try to look happy and friendly, hope to catch the eye from someone, and you know when they're interested.....
I've approached couples and been rebuked in many ways, sometimes friendly, other times less so. Rarely have I seen single females, but I have chatted with one or two. Again, reading body language is something you learn very quickly on the club scene.
Invariably, you get bored sitting/standing by yourself, so having a wander around the play areas is a natural thing to do, if only to pass the time! But now you have to balance your natural curiosity about what is going on, with not appearing a perv/conga participant/wank zombie. I've never been one of 'those guys' who loiter around the play zones hoping for an invite to play like a mouse under the dinner table waiting for crumbs to fall.....
As an alternative to your normal night in the pub with mates, a club visit will make an interesting change. DO NOT though, as a solo guy, think it's an easy way to find nsa sex with strangers. In my experience, using Fab is far easier, and easily more successful.
Would I recommend the club scene to a mate? No.
Would I recommend Fab to a mate? Yes, and have done...
There used to be a bloke that went to Chams on non naked night and walk around naked with a hard on all night...I say walk he was like a hamster on a wheel! Sponsored wank walker. Whenever any public fun started he was like the runt of the litter....pain in the arse but f@cking funny to watch sometimes. Like your approach though and yeah when there are couples sat in corners like tailors dummies not even wanting to talk it must get boring. Point to note....if you ever see us at a club post current situation please come and say hi. Can't guarantee play but will at least have a chat....no need to sit under the table waiting for cheese either lol lol "I appreciate the thought, thank you! Who knows what the future holds eh? I've never expected any play whenever I've visited a club, and out of a total of 16 visits as a solo guy, I've only been fortunate to have sex twice. | |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |||
| |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |||
| |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |||
"We have had down right rude and perfect gentleman come chatting. Problem is, not generalising the dicks from the fun people Reading body language isn’t hard, it’s those who are internally referenced that have the problem." "Internally referenced"? | |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |||
"You're in a club. Everyone is entitled to be there and entitled to talk to who they like. Maybe stop assuming that every attempt at conversation is a move for sex. If you wanted a private conversation with the couple then you could always go somewhere more private. I suppose he could have been wanting to talk about the cricket "We’re you wearing cricket whites then, pads and all? | |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |||
"You're in a club. Everyone is entitled to be there and entitled to talk to who they like. Maybe stop assuming that every attempt at conversation is a move for sex. If you wanted a private conversation with the couple then you could always go somewhere more private. I suppose he could have been wanting to talk about the cricket
We’re you wearing cricket whites then, pads and all?"Just a box | |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |||
"A lot of swinging couples are just not interested in single guys. Perhaps they need a “wristband” system. Red- not interested, green-up for it. The wristband thing has come up before, seems to be done in other countries but not seen it in the UK. On balance, not really in favour, we are absolutely there to socialise first and as I say we have some great single guy friends. Sorry that some guys think this thread is negative about them, we have occasionally seen some odd/rude behaviour by couples as well, not denying it. It’s for the benefit of everyone that I point out at our regular clubs there are normally a few couples looking specifically for single guys. And a lot of them don’t seem to pick up on it. About a year ago we even pointed out to a little group of guys in the (big) hot tub that there were at least four ladies stood on their own at the bar in the other room. None of them moved. "Hellfire has used/uses the wristband approach on occasions and it doesn’t seem to cause any issues from what I have seen. | |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |||
| |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |||
"We have had down right rude and perfect gentleman come chatting. Problem is, not generalising the dicks from the fun people Reading body language isn’t hard, it’s those who are internally referenced that have the problem. "Internally referenced"?" I would like to hear "internally referenced" explained too. I also don't agree with "Reading body language isn’t hard". At best, it's as ambiguous as fuck. A non-negligible number of people have clinically diagnosed difficulty with it. | |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |||
"Been on the receiving end as a couple many a time. Together we only played soft swap and our club meets were pre arranged. I also visited as a single guy and limit my interactions with couples to the bar area, if you are seated im not approaching. Always assumed seated was either acclimatising to the club, not interested in who they could see, were waiting for a meet or waiting for friends. The couples and single females own the power dynamic in clubs, I was happy to respect that and enjoy chatting to the staff and other singles. This is how I've always behaved whenever I've been in a club, hung around the bar area by myself, try to look happy and friendly, hope to catch the eye from someone, and you know when they're interested.....
I've approached couples and been rebuked in many ways, sometimes friendly, other times less so. Rarely have I seen single females, but I have chatted with one or two. Again, reading body language is something you learn very quickly on the club scene.
Invariably, you get bored sitting/standing by yourself, so having a wander around the play areas is a natural thing to do, if only to pass the time! But now you have to balance your natural curiosity about what is going on, with not appearing a perv/conga participant/wank zombie. I've never been one of 'those guys' who loiter around the play zones hoping for an invite to play like a mouse under the dinner table waiting for crumbs to fall.....
As an alternative to your normal night in the pub with mates, a club visit will make an interesting change. DO NOT though, as a solo guy, think it's an easy way to find nsa sex with strangers. In my experience, using Fab is far easier, and easily more successful.
Would I recommend the club scene to a mate? No.
Would I recommend Fab to a mate? Yes, and have done...
There used to be a bloke that went to Chams on non naked night and walk around naked with a hard on all night...I say walk he was like a hamster on a wheel! Sponsored wank walker. Whenever any public fun started he was like the runt of the litter....pain in the arse but f@cking funny to watch sometimes. Like your approach though and yeah when there are couples sat in corners like tailors dummies not even wanting to talk it must get boring. Point to note....if you ever see us at a club post current situation please come and say hi. Can't guarantee play but will at least have a chat....no need to sit under the table waiting for cheese either lol lol
I appreciate the thought, thank you! Who knows what the future holds eh? I've never expected any play whenever I've visited a club, and out of a total of 16 visits as a solo guy, I've only been fortunate to have sex twice. "It may surprise you but as a couple we never ever go with expectations and have spent more than one night in there playing on our own. The mood and the crowd have to be right...for everyone!! We had one bloke following us one night whilst we were having a walk around. We went and sat down alone and after a while went for another walk, there he was again. On the way back down the stairs he says “I’ll just gone home then shall I” Really! How the hell do you answer that when you’ve only been in the place 30 mins and he would have known that. 2/16 isn’t bad as long as you all enjoyed the time. Hopefully the future will see the world recover rightly and some day we can all go to the house of fun again. | |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |||
"These comments make me laugh. If I actually had to chat a couple up in a swingers club I would just move on. I mean a bit of chat and banter is all good. But it's all about body language and reading the signs. Perhaps it's a coy smile from the wife of the couple or a wink from the husband. " Great approach and well worthy of a reply. What’s your hit rate studdly?? | |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |||
| |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |||
"Been on the receiving end as a couple many a time. Together we only played soft swap and our club meets were pre arranged. I also visited as a single guy and limit my interactions with couples to the bar area, if you are seated im not approaching. Always assumed seated was either acclimatising to the club, not interested in who they could see, were waiting for a meet or waiting for friends. The couples and single females own the power dynamic in clubs, I was happy to respect that and enjoy chatting to the staff and other singles. This is how I've always behaved whenever I've been in a club, hung around the bar area by myself, try to look happy and friendly, hope to catch the eye from someone, and you know when they're interested.....
I've approached couples and been rebuked in many ways, sometimes friendly, other times less so. Rarely have I seen single females, but I have chatted with one or two. Again, reading body language is something you learn very quickly on the club scene.
Invariably, you get bored sitting/standing by yourself, so having a wander around the play areas is a natural thing to do, if only to pass the time! But now you have to balance your natural curiosity about what is going on, with not appearing a perv/conga participant/wank zombie. I've never been one of 'those guys' who loiter around the play zones hoping for an invite to play like a mouse under the dinner table waiting for crumbs to fall.....
As an alternative to your normal night in the pub with mates, a club visit will make an interesting change. DO NOT though, as a solo guy, think it's an easy way to find nsa sex with strangers. In my experience, using Fab is far easier, and easily more successful.
Would I recommend the club scene to a mate? No.
Would I recommend Fab to a mate? Yes, and have done...
There used to be a bloke that went to Chams on non naked night and walk around naked with a hard on all night...I say walk he was like a hamster on a wheel! Sponsored wank walker. Whenever any public fun started he was like the runt of the litter....pain in the arse but f@cking funny to watch sometimes. Like your approach though and yeah when there are couples sat in corners like tailors dummies not even wanting to talk it must get boring. Point to note....if you ever see us at a club post current situation please come and say hi. Can't guarantee play but will at least have a chat....no need to sit under the table waiting for cheese either lol lol
I appreciate the thought, thank you! Who knows what the future holds eh? I've never expected any play whenever I've visited a club, and out of a total of 16 visits as a solo guy, I've only been fortunate to have sex twice.
It may surprise you but as a couple we never ever go with expectations and have spent more than one night in there playing on our own. The mood and the crowd have to be right...for everyone!! We had one bloke following us one night whilst we were having a walk around. We went and sat down alone and after a while went for another walk, there he was again. On the way back down the stairs he says “I’ll just gone home then shall I” Really! How the hell do you answer that when you’ve only been in the place 30 mins and he would have known that. 2/16 isn’t bad as long as you all enjoyed the time. Hopefully the future will see the world recover rightly and some day we can all go to the house of fun again."In the interest of balance, I will say that I have been to clubs as a couple three times, and have seen 'the other side of the fence'. Whilst in Chams I needed a pee, so popped in to that little loo on the stairs, and the second the door closed behind me, I could hear my lady friend being hit on by the single guys who had been following us around. It was quite amusing that as soon as I reappeared, they all cleared off! Another time, I was with a friend in Club f, enjoying ourselves immensely, when all of a sudden my left leg shot backwards! I looked behind me, and this fat geezer had his hand around my ankle, and had the balls to ask "Can I join you?" You can imagine my reply....
I totally understand the stand-offishness, or 'clickyness' of many people in clubs, when a new solo male face appears, and you're quite correct; when the mood is right, and the right people get together, it really is worth the effort It's just a shame the bad behaviour of a few, ruins the reputation of many | |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |||
| |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |||
"Being single (widowed), and on the large side to find a fwb to go to a club as a couple and be accepted would help. Single blokes are very much frowned upon in here and avoided, and I understand the reasons given the amount of hassle from some. All are not like that. I would not dream of interrupting someone if in conversation unless invited to take part. Its down to basic manners and not the cock sure attitude that some blokes possess. I prefer to pick up on signals from others and not invite myself in. " Honestly, we’ve seen all shapes and sizes of guys have success at clubs. The ones that are fun to be around do very well. | |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |||
"Being single (widowed), and on the large side to find a fwb to go to a club as a couple and be accepted would help. Single blokes are very much frowned upon in here and avoided, and I understand the reasons given the amount of hassle from some. All are not like that. I would not dream of interrupting someone if in conversation unless invited to take part. Its down to basic manners and not the cock sure attitude that some blokes possess. I prefer to pick up on signals from others and not invite myself in. Honestly, we’ve seen all shapes and sizes of guys have success at clubs. The ones that are fun to be around do very well. " Thats good to hear guys. The experiences I've had on here and in clubs has not been so positive. Stay safe and take care. | |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |||
"Being single (widowed), and on the large side to find a fwb to go to a club as a couple and be accepted would help. Single blokes are very much frowned upon in here and avoided, and I understand the reasons given the amount of hassle from some. All are not like that. I would not dream of interrupting someone if in conversation unless invited to take part. Its down to basic manners and not the cock sure attitude that some blokes possess. I prefer to pick up on signals from others and not invite myself in. Honestly, we’ve seen all shapes and sizes of guys have success at clubs. The ones that are fun to be around do very well. " If we used to gauge attention from a single guy that we both liked the look of I would sometimes go for a short wander and allow some space for an approach. Quite often I’d come back to Lou either sat waiting for me or engaging in conversation. On more than one occasion there might be light play that would extend to me being involved and then a threesome. I have even come back to her sat opposite a rather large nice old guy masturbating him to his complete satisfaction. There were a couple of other guys waiting who got the same deal...all left with a smile and Lou! Asked if I was ok with it, WTF not they were ALL really nice guys. Sometimes me popping of clears the runway and she is bold enough to send someone away in my absence if they are less than gentlemanly. | |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |||
"These comments make me laugh. If I actually had to chat a couple up in a swingers club I would just move on. I mean a bit of chat and banter is all good. But it's all about body language and reading the signs. Perhaps it's a coy smile from the wife of the couple or a wink from the husband. Great approach and well worthy of a reply. What’s your hit rate studdly?? " | |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |||
"I go to clubs with no expectation, and it all depends on your definition of hit rate (I don't often get full sex in a club). I'm in my 30's and like couples well in their 50's and 60's so maybe I have a niche. I find couples I like and see if there is any chemistry, and don't go after a couple just because "its a couple". For me a successful visit to a club could be an invitation to watch and play a bit which as a voyeur I'm more than happy to do, or a bj in the sauna/cinema room, right up to full sex. These comments make me laugh. If I actually had to chat a couple up in a swingers club I would just move on. I mean a bit of chat and banter is all good. But it's all about body language and reading the signs. Perhaps it's a coy smile from the wife of the couple or a wink from the husband. Great approach and well worthy of a reply. What’s your hit rate studdly?? " Think you have it bang on TBH. Great approach and we are the same towards single guys, we don’t expect anything. The comment on having fun that doesn’t always lead to full sex resonates with us as we’ve often had that experience. To be fair some lads don’t want the pressure and neither do we. Nice to hear how you do things ?? | |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |||
| |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |||
"This is why I don't understand why single men go to swinger clubs. Clearly most don't want you there " | |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |||
| |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |||
"I don't understand why single men go to swinger clubs." Single men go to swingers clubs to meet swingers and hopefully have sex with them. "all swinging has a bisexual element" Willing to have sex in the presence of another man != bisexual. | |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |||
"Being single (widowed), and on the large side to find a fwb to go to a club as a couple and be accepted would help. Single blokes are very much frowned upon in here and avoided, and I understand the reasons given the amount of hassle from some. All are not like that. I would not dream of interrupting someone if in conversation unless invited to take part. Its down to basic manners and not the cock sure attitude that some blokes possess. I prefer to pick up on signals from others and not invite myself in. Honestly, we’ve seen all shapes and sizes of guys have success at clubs. The ones that are fun to be around do very well. If we used to gauge attention from a single guy that we both liked the look of I would sometimes go for a short wander and allow some space for an approach. Quite often I’d come back to Lou either sat waiting for me or engaging in conversation. On more than one occasion there might be light play that would extend to me being involved and then a threesome. I have even come back to her sat opposite a rather large nice old guy masturbating him to his complete satisfaction. There were a couple of other guys waiting who got the same deal...all left with a smile and Lou! Asked if I was ok with it, WTF not they were ALL really nice guys. Sometimes me popping of clears the runway and she is bold enough to send someone away in my absence if they are less than gentlemanly. " Again thats good to hear. Its difficult being a single big guy in a swingers world. Made harder by stereotyping. Thanks for the reassurance its not everywhere. | |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |||
"I don't understand why single men go to swinger clubs. Single men go to swingers clubs to meet swingers and hopefully have sex with them. all swinging has a bisexual element Willing to have sex in the presence of another man != bisexual." Think about it, why does a man choose fabswingers and swingers clubs over tinder and nightclubs? | |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |||
"I don't understand why single men go to swinger clubs. Single men go to swingers clubs to meet swingers and hopefully have sex with them. all swinging has a bisexual element Willing to have sex in the presence of another man != bisexual. Think about it, why does a man choose fabswingers and swingers clubs over tinder and nightclubs? " I do t think you’re being entirely serious | |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |||
| |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |||
"I don't understand why single men go to swinger clubs. Single men go to swingers clubs to meet swingers and hopefully have sex with them. all swinging has a bisexual element Willing to have sex in the presence of another man != bisexual." Yes, that's the point of swingers clubs. But that also applies to couples and single women. I meant why go somewhere where most don't want you there? I don't see the point in paying ridiculous entry as a single man to a place where you're considered unwanted. | |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |||
"I don't understand why single men go to swinger clubs. Single men go to swingers clubs to meet swingers and hopefully have sex with them. all swinging has a bisexual element Willing to have sex in the presence of another man != bisexual. Think about it, why does a man choose fabswingers and swingers clubs over tinder and nightclubs? " They're not mutually exclusive, and all offer different things | |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |||
| |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |||
"why does a man choose fabswingers and swingers clubs over tinder and nightclubs? " Because Tinder and nightclubs are saturated with monogamous people looking for Proper Relationships™ with The One™. | |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |||
| |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |||
"why does a man choose fabswingers and swingers clubs over tinder and nightclubs? Because Tinder and nightclubs are saturated with monogamous people looking for Proper Relationships™ with The One™. " I know what you mean about monogamous people. But lots of one night stands occur in that world, so why would a "straight" man want to meet a couple when he could meet a single woman? Any threesome has a bi element, regardless of whether you touch the other man or not. | |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |||
"lots of one night stands occur in that world" Firstly, not nearly enough. Nothing fucking like enough. Secondly, "One night stand" versus "Proper Relationship" is a false binary – there's a lot to explore between those two states. "so why would a "straight" man want to meet a couple when he could meet a single woman?" This is a different question to the one you previously asked – "why does a man choose fabswingers and swingers clubs over tinder and nightclubs?" Are you conflating the two deliberately? "Any threesome has a bi element, regardless of whether you touch the other man or not." Speak for yourself. | |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |||
"We have had down right rude and perfect gentleman come chatting. Problem is, not generalising the dicks from the fun people Reading body language isn’t hard, it’s those who are internally referenced that have the problem. "Internally referenced"?" Miller’s 7 +/-2 theory, you can only have between 5 nine conscious thoughts at any time. If majority are in a persons head (planning, fantasising, running scenes etc) and not being used with externally sensory awareness it is called “internally referenced”. In other words, it is all in the head and not in the moment. | |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |||
| |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |||
"Most single men get the game entirely wrong. And this is where I believe just about all swinging has a bisexual element. I mean are you there to have sex with a women or a couple? " As regular clubber single man, I can tell you it`s not necessarily true. I have never had interest in males, and since I`ve took part in 3somes, I can be even more confident: I`m not bi-curious, as I never felt that I want to touch a man. To answer your question, I go there to have sex with women and prefer 1 to 1 m-f or f-f-m plays (okay, that`s a very rare occasion, haha). However, If I have a chance to play with a lady who I find attractive, I`m happy to join a couple too, but only for the pleasure of the girl. Luckily I`ve never experienced that anyone would try to go towards bi-stuff without ask me way before we`d start to play. When that`s happened, I politely said no and no offense were taken. I think it`s more of an issue for stricthly straight girls. I heard multiple ladies complaining about it, that many women take f-f bisexuality granted in foursomes, and go for it without asking upfront. | |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |||
" Think about it, why does a man choose fabswingers and swingers clubs over tinder and nightclubs? " If I`m looking for only occasional sex, visiting a swinger club as a single guy is way more honest, straightforward, efficient and even thrifty way to do than going to a regular nightclub or a Tinder date. The potential success rate is way higher (uhh it actually sounds a bit bad...  ), and swinger parties also have a special vibe: you know that most ladies are there to have sex, but will they choose you? Or, which girl will you choose to try your luck with? Should you approach the girl you find the most attractive, the jackpot of the night, even if it means you have more chance to fail and go home with full and heavy balls? Honestly I just love this "strategy game" part of the parties too!
Not to mention, potentially you can have success even more than one time in a night! How could you do that on a Tinder date?
I can`t wait clubs open again!!!! | |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |||
| |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |||
"Single guys are totally wasting their time and money if they don’t socialite and chat to people in a club. If you don’t make an effort to socialise you are usually ignored later on when people start using the play rooms. I find this thread disappointing and the OP should probably stick to couples only nights." Sorry you find it disappointing. Socialising and chatting is exactly what everyone should be doing in a club. But in a polite, appropriate, respectful way. | |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |||
"Single guys are totally wasting their time and money if they don’t socialite and chat to people in a club. If you don’t make an effort to socialise you are usually ignored later on when people start using the play rooms. I find this thread disappointing and the OP should probably stick to couples only nights." | |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |||
"Single guys are totally wasting their time and money if they don’t socialite and chat to people in a club. If you don’t make an effort to socialise you are usually ignored later on when people start using the play rooms. I find this thread disappointing and the OP should probably stick to couples only nights." But when most are seeking other couples or women, there's little point..? You make the assumption, and many couples and women do the same on here too, that men are unsuccessful because they don't "put in the effort". The fact is most are not looking for single men. The effort you put in as a single man is irrelevant. | |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |||
"Single guys are totally wasting their time and money if they don’t socialite and chat to people in a club. If you don’t make an effort to socialise you are usually ignored later on when people start using the play rooms. I find this thread disappointing and the OP should probably stick to couples only nights. But when most are seeking other couples or women, there's little point..? You make the assumption, and many couples and women do the same on here too, that men are unsuccessful because they don't "put in the effort". The fact is most are not looking for single men. The effort you put in as a single man is irrelevant." We’ve done a really big survey of this question “what most are looking for” We’ve discovered everyone is different. There are a substantial proportion of couples who are looking for single guys. There are a substantial proportion looking for single girls. There are a substantial proportion looking for couples. And everything in between. Not to mention what single guys and single girls are looking for. This is why I’m saying, as per point of the thread, read the room for who is likely to be interested. | |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |||
| |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |||
"Single guys are totally wasting their time and money if they don’t socialite and chat to people in a club. If you don’t make an effort to socialise you are usually ignored later on when people start using the play rooms. I find this thread disappointing and the OP should probably stick to couples only nights. But when most are seeking other couples or women, there's little point..? You make the assumption, and many couples and women do the same on here too, that men are unsuccessful because they don't "put in the effort". The fact is most are not looking for single men. The effort you put in as a single man is irrelevant. We’ve done a really big survey of this question “what most are looking for” We’ve discovered everyone is different. There are a substantial proportion of couples who are looking for single guys. There are a substantial proportion looking for single girls. There are a substantial proportion looking for couples. And everything in between. Not to mention what single guys and single girls are looking for. This is why I’m saying, as per point of the thread, read the room for who is likely to be interested. " Well, if I'm ever in a club again, I'll try to take this onboard | |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |||
"As a single guy I’ve had fun at clubs, that’s been with with & without any play. I go into swinging clubs without any expectations of getting sex because no one owes me anything and I feel that’s the best way to approach. What does make me laugh is when couples have this negative attitude about all single guys, but forgetting that they were single themselves once upon a time. Plus there tends to be a double standard when it comes to single men and single women, but I think that’s because of people’s experiences with some single men. I’ve spoken to couples without playing with them, at times it’s because I’m not their type and that’s okay as I just move on. It can be intimidating as a single guy going to clubs especially when you’re alone because we’re often painted with the same brush. " I can totally understand being intimidated as a single guy at a club, not disputing that. Many couples can feel intimidated as well. On the sale of intimidation, two or more guys grouped together hunting as a pack does however top the list. I can’t see how a guy taking a wingman to a club is ever going to work well tbh. | |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |||
"The fact is most are not looking for single men. The effort you put in as a single man is irrelevant." Most clubs I`ve been in, have couples only nights too. I assume those couples who choose mixed nights over couples only ones, are open to interact with single guys. The rest is about chemistry. I`d not consider myself as an extraordinary good looking man at all, and still, I`m pretty sure I had over 80% "play rate" on my visits. Despite I`m very picky myself and interested in playing only if I really like the lady. Also not into big groups, so when I play, that`s mostly means a threesome with a couple, or one-by-one with a single girl in the most lucky nights.
I think everyone should use common sense, if you see two couples already engaged, don`t disturb, but it`s nothing wrong with approaching a couple/girl for a light chat. Body language and other signs will tell if they want you to go forward. Girls are the ultimate boss in clubs, so you also need to understand polite signs of no.
I`ve been in parties 50+ times as a singe man (maybe closer to 100? ), but luckily never experienced a rude situation. | |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |||
"The fact is most are not looking for single men. The effort you put in as a single man is irrelevant. Most clubs I`ve been in, have couples only nights too. I assume those couples who choose mixed nights over couples only ones, are open to interact with single guys. The rest is about chemistry. I`d not consider myself as an extraordinary good looking man at all, and still, I`m pretty sure I had over 80% "play rate" on my visits. Despite I`m very picky myself and interested in playing only if I really like the lady. Also not into big groups, so when I play, that`s mostly means a threesome with a couple, or one-by-one with a single girl in the most lucky nights.
I think everyone should use common sense, if you see two couples already engaged, don`t disturb, but it`s nothing wrong with approaching a couple/girl for a light chat. Body language and other signs will tell if they want you to go forward. Girls are the ultimate boss in clubs, so you also need to understand polite signs of no.
I`ve been in parties 50+ times as a singe man (maybe closer to 100? ), but luckily never experienced a rude situation."Fair play to you my friend, it sounds like London clubs are the way forward! An 80% hit rate eclipses my 90% miss rate | |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |||
"Fair play to you my friend, it sounds like London clubs are the way forward! An 80% hit rate eclipses my 90% miss rate "Do you really have a 90% miss rate? Which club have you been? I`m really not here to brag, but I visited clubs abroad for a few occasions, and I was always lucky to play. I`m a straight man, but I can still tell(if your profile photo shows you) that you are way above the avarage clubbing single man by body. And we like it or not, swinger clubs are meat-markets (talking about occasional meets not long term swinging friends). So I just can`t imagine how could you have 90% miss rate. | |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |||
| |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |||
"Fair play to you my friend, it sounds like London clubs are the way forward! An 80% hit rate eclipses my 90% miss rate
Do you really have a 90% miss rate? Which club have you been? I`m really not here to brag, but I visited clubs abroad for a few occasions, and I was always lucky to play.
I`m a straight man, but I can still tell(if your profile photo shows you) that you are way above the avarage clubbing single man by body. And we like it or not, swinger clubs are meat-markets (talking about occasional meets not long term swinging friends). So I just can`t imagine how could you have 90% miss rate."Thank you for your compliments, I'm not sure if that makes me feel any better or worse lol! All my pics are my own, of myself, and each was taken on the date of the upload, so an honest representation of myself I feel.
Out of 16 visits I've been lucky enough to play with two couples, so is that roughly 90% miss rate? In no particular order; Atlantis, Cupids, La Chambre, No.3, Townhouse, and Club f. | |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |||
"Thing is If the mr of the op didn’t have a women with a pair of tits with him he would be another one of the awkward guys in the club. Love this thread. It shows exactly the kind of couples to avoid in a club and on fab
" | |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |||
| |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |||
"Thank you for your compliments, I'm not sure if that makes me feel any better or worse lol! All my pics are my own, of myself, and each was taken on the date of the upload, so an honest representation of myself I feel.
Out of 16 visits I've been lucky enough to play with two couples, so is that roughly 90% miss rate? In no particular order; Atlantis, Cupids, La Chambre, No.3, Townhouse, and Club f. "Haha, definitely don`t feel yourself worse! :D Maybe you are still in the "learning courve", I remember how embarrassed and shy I was at the time of my first club visits...
Actually, making jokes of myself, and telling funny stories about my first parties, how clumsy I was, usually works well as an ice-breaker when I talk to a couple.
I`ve never been in these clubs, but visited all in and around London. On the unsuccessful nights could you manage to get in a chat with girls/couples? | |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |||
"As a single woman who really wants to go to a club when they reopen i do worry about getting the etiquette correct. I can completely understand a single guy feeling unsure what to do. I will be one of those awkward singles looking to play with other singles, men and women however i don't fancy the idea of being with a couple. I think i'm the only person on fab that finds playing with a couple a turn off haha xx" I’m hoping to try a club to meet men when they reopen, so you’re not alone! I’m not interested in couples at all. This thread has made me a bit nervous thought because I’m wondering 1) if there are going to be any single men; and 2) I have to have good chat & read body language? Eeek! I am completely unable to flirt or recognise flirting in real life so I’m probably going to struggle | |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |||
| |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |||
"The chatting and reading body language is advice for single men. Single women, especially attractive new single women, are rarely short of attention unless they make it clear that they don't want it. Even then, there'll usually be some guys trying anyway. Gaslight, I saw in another thread that you're only interested in bi men. The numbers might be against you unless you go on a bi night. It would be worth posting a meet here saying when you're going and what you want. My club experience has been a good one. Until Covid put a stop to everything, I went to the same one as often as I could. The first half dozen times or so I didn't play. But after that I was comfortable there, I had some idea how things work, I knew people, and they knew me. I think that made a big difference." Yeah on the other thread I got lots of recommendations for bi nights. I’m still confused by all the terminology though so I hadn’t realised I’d be welcome at a bi night as a straight woman, I assumed they’d only be for bi *everyone*. I am absolutely useless at in person interaction (I’ve been online dating since 2001 and have never met a partner in real life first) so once the clubs reopen I’ll see who is going where so I at least “know” some people before. | |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |||
| |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |||
| |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |||
| |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |||
"Thank you for your compliments, I'm not sure if that makes me feel any better or worse lol! All my pics are my own, of myself, and each was taken on the date of the upload, so an honest representation of myself I feel.
Out of 16 visits I've been lucky enough to play with two couples, so is that roughly 90% miss rate? In no particular order; Atlantis, Cupids, La Chambre, No.3, Townhouse, and Club f.
Haha, definitely don`t feel yourself worse! :D Maybe you are still in the "learning courve", I remember how embarrassed and shy I was at the time of my first club visits...
Actually, making jokes of myself, and telling funny stories about my first parties, how clumsy I was, usually works well as an ice-breaker when I talk to a couple.
I`ve never been in these clubs, but visited all in and around London. On the unsuccessful nights could you manage to get in a chat with girls/couples?"Yes, I've managed to chat with the occasional single female, couples, and single guys too (there's always another lonely soul looking for someone friendly to chat with lol). I've been completely blanked, received a bored "We're not interested in single guys" many times, and even been lectured about being a married man playing away! Overall, I know Ive just been unlucky with my visits
| |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |||
| |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |||
| |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |||
"There's a lot of defeatism coming from single guys in this thread. It's unwarranted. Single men can approach couples, other singles, or groups and have a conversation with them. It's fine. No one is saying they can't. I've done it many times myself. What isn't fine is inserting yourself into a private conversation. Private conversations and public conversations look different. I don't think I could explain what that difference is, and I probably err on the "play it safe" side more than necessary. But you can tell if you pay attention. Paying attention to social cues is the number one skill you need in a club. The smoking room is an easier place to talk with people. It's a smaller group and people come and go. Conversation there tends to be public. It doesn't matter if you don't smoke. The same applies with the hot tub (please don't smoke in the hot tub)." Yes, well said! Why not approach someone who is having a drink and looking around and not occupied in a conversation? It very much depends how it is done. To be fair, I have only been to one swingers club (by which I mean, known to be specifically for swinging) and did not really feel like I would want to go back. I loved the facilities, I wish my favourite kink clubs could get such a venue, that would be amazing but the atmosphere was completely different to what I like. It felt cold, almost hostile. Literally one person spoke to me upstairs despite me being there for a while and then when I went downstairs to see the dungeon (the main place of interest for me) a group of guys accumulated around me, none of them spoke to me previously, they all followed me around, occasionally making awkward suggestive comments and inwardly I was thinking - what are they expecting to happen, exactly? How bizarre. Luckily, the person who did the tour for new people was also a House Dominant so I had some play otherwise it would have been a rather disappointing Friday night. Oh well, I decided maybe this is not for me - but why should it be like that? I loved the small mixed swing and kink parties I've attended before trying this particular place, they have been brilliant. Going just the once is also a questionable indication and perhaps it would be worth looking for other swing clubs once things re-open. Although who am I kidding? First thing I will be looking for will be my favourite kink clubs, if they survive of course. But you just never know - if there is a hot tub that's already a big attraction (although places like this tend to be out of town). | |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |||
