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Would you go a club that says wink wink No sex!
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"Legaly any sex club or cinema opening soon will have to at least pretend publically that there wont be any sex. But if you go to that place are you still expecting to have sex with the oweners turning s blind eye or even setting it up more descretly than usual. Or would you just pop in for a chat and cuppa?" Why on earth would any club do that? Bit daft even suggesting it on a forum that is so widely watched by the press.  | |||
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"We have seen on this forum a couple of clubs that intend to open under the guise of a Hotel or a Bar with suggestions of play between partners or bubbles and voyeurism. Not a very sensible way forward and not giving themselves a good name. They defend themselves by saying those who don't want to come should refrain from the criticism and just stay away. It is good to see most clubs are doing the sensible thing though, so OP is correct to say that some are saying 'wink wink' " Exactly that, they are clubs, which are illegal to open, you can take away a DJ and play Music in the background, they are still a club. There is no way all people will keep exactly 1 metre distant at all times, impossible. All these clubs reopening just make me feel they are dirty, and like many others I will be avoiding them like covid  | |||
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"We have seen on this forum a couple of clubs that intend to open under the guise of a Hotel or a Bar with suggestions of play between partners or bubbles and voyeurism. Not a very sensible way forward and not giving themselves a good name. They defend themselves by saying those who don't want to come should refrain from the criticism and just stay away. It is good to see most clubs are doing the sensible thing though, so OP is correct to say that some are saying 'wink wink' " OK I'll re-phrase slightly. If a club is breaking the guidelines then they run the risk of being closed down, loosing their income and livelihoods as per Townhouse comment. If they can open within the guidelines, then surely as a business they should be allowed to try as early as they can? Those not opening at the moment are doing so because either they fall into other categories, such as spa's being wet based clubs, or they can't see how a 2 meter, or 1 meter social distancing rules would work for them and be financially viable. Or, they want to hang on and open as "swingers clubs" once covid is over at a guess. We are opening as a non sexual bar to answer the demand from our customers to "socialise" with old friends. Hate to say it, but we will be policing ourselves for sexual activity and taking action against anyone who breaks what we think are sensible guidelines that allow us to open in some very minor form. | |||
Reply privately (thread closed by moderator) | |||
"We have seen on this forum a couple of clubs that intend to open under the guise of a Hotel or a Bar with suggestions of play between partners or bubbles and voyeurism. Not a very sensible way forward and not giving themselves a good name. They defend themselves by saying those who don't want to come should refrain from the criticism and just stay away. It is good to see most clubs are doing the sensible thing though, so OP is correct to say that some are saying 'wink wink' OK I'll re-phrase slightly. If a club is breaking the guidelines then they run the risk of being closed down, loosing their income and livelihoods as per Townhouse comment. If they can open within the guidelines, then surely as a business they should be allowed to try as early as they can? Those not opening at the moment are doing so because either they fall into other categories, such as spa's being wet based clubs, or they can't see how a 2 meter, or 1 meter social distancing rules would work for them and be financially viable. Or, they want to hang on and open as "swingers clubs" once covid is over at a guess. We are opening as a non sexual bar to answer the demand from our customers to "socialise" with old friends. Hate to say it, but we will be policing ourselves for sexual activity and taking action against anyone who breaks what we think are sensible guidelines that allow us to open in some very minor form. " It’s just wrong, you are a club. You can dress it up as you want, you are encouraging people to meet up, and go back to their rooms with others, or even outside. I understand financially it must be hard on all clubs, but the risk of opening too soon is damaging. And I would imagine those that attend are those that are moaning about group gatherings on the beaches. I just think it is giving clubs a bad reputation when I see they announce they are opening. Places like Eurekas are ok, it’s open space, even then I can’t see how they can police playing. | |||
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"We have seen on this forum a couple of clubs that intend to open under the guise of a Hotel or a Bar with suggestions of play between partners or bubbles and voyeurism. Not a very sensible way forward and not giving themselves a good name. They defend themselves by saying those who don't want to come should refrain from the criticism and just stay away. It is good to see most clubs are doing the sensible thing though, so OP is correct to say that some are saying 'wink wink' OK I'll re-phrase slightly. If a club is breaking the guidelines then they run the risk of being closed down, loosing their income and livelihoods as per Townhouse comment. If they can open within the guidelines, then surely as a business they should be allowed to try as early as they can? Those not opening at the moment are doing so because either they fall into other categories, such as spa's being wet based clubs, or they can't see how a 2 meter, or 1 meter social distancing rules would work for them and be financially viable. Or, they want to hang on and open as "swingers clubs" once covid is over at a guess. We are opening as a non sexual bar to answer the demand from our customers to "socialise" with old friends. Hate to say it, but we will be policing ourselves for sexual activity and taking action against anyone who breaks what we think are sensible guidelines that allow us to open in some very minor form. It’s just wrong, you are a club. You can dress it up as you want, you are encouraging people to meet up, and go back to their rooms with others, or even outside. I understand financially it must be hard on all clubs, but the risk of opening too soon is damaging. And I would imagine those that attend are those that are moaning about group gatherings on the beaches. I just think it is giving clubs a bad reputation when I see they announce they are opening. Places like Eurekas are ok, it’s open space, even then I can’t see how they can police playing. " No, we are opening for those who accept our no sex policy. That's it. | |||
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"We have seen on this forum a couple of clubs that intend to open under the guise of a Hotel or a Bar with suggestions of play between partners or bubbles and voyeurism. Not a very sensible way forward and not giving themselves a good name. They defend themselves by saying those who don't want to come should refrain from the criticism and just stay away. It is good to see most clubs are doing the sensible thing though, so OP is correct to say that some are saying 'wink wink' OK I'll re-phrase slightly. If a club is breaking the guidelines then they run the risk of being closed down, loosing their income and livelihoods as per Townhouse comment. If they can open within the guidelines, then surely as a business they should be allowed to try as early as they can? Those not opening at the moment are doing so because either they fall into other categories, such as spa's being wet based clubs, or they can't see how a 2 meter, or 1 meter social distancing rules would work for them and be financially viable. Or, they want to hang on and open as "swingers clubs" once covid is over at a guess. We are opening as a non sexual bar to answer the demand from our customers to "socialise" with old friends. Hate to say it, but we will be policing ourselves for sexual activity and taking action against anyone who breaks what we think are sensible guidelines that allow us to open in some very minor form. It’s just wrong, you are a club. You can dress it up as you want, you are encouraging people to meet up, and go back to their rooms with others, or even outside. I understand financially it must be hard on all clubs, but the risk of opening too soon is damaging. And I would imagine those that attend are those that are moaning about group gatherings on the beaches. I just think it is giving clubs a bad reputation when I see they announce they are opening. Places like Eurekas are ok, it’s open space, even then I can’t see how they can police playing. " They are opening as a licensed premises in the same way that coffee shops, bars, pubs & cafes can open. Socials are a massive part of club life. Most of us are missing that element way more than playing. For clubs opening with aany intention of functioning as a swingers club, this is way outside of the regulations and a massive gamble with their livelihood & reputation. If they’re happy to take that gamble, that’s on them! But for clubs who can open, with all the relevant permissions & sign off from local authorities, as a social venue, then why wouldn’t they?! | |||
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"We have seen on this forum a couple of clubs that intend to open under the guise of a Hotel or a Bar with suggestions of play between partners or bubbles and voyeurism. Not a very sensible way forward and not giving themselves a good name. They defend themselves by saying those who don't want to come should refrain from the criticism and just stay away. It is good to see most clubs are doing the sensible thing though, so OP is correct to say that some are saying 'wink wink' OK I'll re-phrase slightly. If a club is breaking the guidelines then they run the risk of being closed down, loosing their income and livelihoods as per Townhouse comment. If they can open within the guidelines, then surely as a business they should be allowed to try as early as they can? Those not opening at the moment are doing so because either they fall into other categories, such as spa's being wet based clubs, or they can't see how a 2 meter, or 1 meter social distancing rules would work for them and be financially viable. Or, they want to hang on and open as "swingers clubs" once covid is over at a guess. We are opening as a non sexual bar to answer the demand from our customers to "socialise" with old friends. Hate to say it, but we will be policing ourselves for sexual activity and taking action against anyone who breaks what we think are sensible guidelines that allow us to open in some very minor form. It’s just wrong, you are a club. You can dress it up as you want, you are encouraging people to meet up, and go back to their rooms with others, or even outside. I understand financially it must be hard on all clubs, but the risk of opening too soon is damaging. And I would imagine those that attend are those that are moaning about group gatherings on the beaches. I just think it is giving clubs a bad reputation when I see they announce they are opening. Places like Eurekas are ok, it’s open space, even then I can’t see how they can police playing. No, we are opening for those who accept our no sex policy. That's it. " Whilst appreciating and understanding financial aspects and requirements, are you sure you aren't encouraging like minded people to attend, chat with others, and arrange meets, which currently are not allowed. I guess people are probably meeting others (not so much off here, where it's banned), but will these 'socials' not encourage 'non social distancing' meets which may well compromise some peoples health? | |||
Reply privately (thread closed by moderator) | |||
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"Legaly any sex club or cinema opening soon will have to at least pretend publically that there wont be any sex. But if you go to that place are you still expecting to have sex with the oweners turning s blind eye or even setting it up more descretly than usual. Or would you just pop in for a chat and cuppa?" Personally i wouldn't with the wink wink attitude. It will just lead to trouble. If people want to risk their lives and livelihoods then let them. When we attended our local club i enjoyed the thrill of dressing up just for a nice night out full of laughter and banter. However i wont be attending out local if it opened up next month. Ive seen a few people forgetting about the green arrow on here and its showing a lot of people up being worried one min and then rushing to book hotels and fuck etc. I cant wait in one way for my local club to open but in another way i can. Few clubs can open as cafes/bars and i applaud them for managing to see some income whilst this shite storm is going on and those who have been very clear of a No Sex policy i dont doubt they will be straight in to sort people out. However there are some being sneaky and they are the ones who are playing with fire. | |||
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"Also OP - do you mean sex clubs or swingers clubs? Because they’re 2 different things?! " whats the difference then? | |||
Reply privately (thread closed by moderator) | |||
"We have seen on this forum a couple of clubs that intend to open under the guise of a Hotel or a Bar with suggestions of play between partners or bubbles and voyeurism. Not a very sensible way forward and not giving themselves a good name. They defend themselves by saying those who don't want to come should refrain from the criticism and just stay away. It is good to see most clubs are doing the sensible thing though, so OP is correct to say that some are saying 'wink wink' OK I'll re-phrase slightly. If a club is breaking the guidelines then they run the risk of being closed down, loosing their income and livelihoods as per Townhouse comment. If they can open within the guidelines, then surely as a business they should be allowed to try as early as they can? Those not opening at the moment are doing so because either they fall into other categories, such as spa's being wet based clubs, or they can't see how a 2 meter, or 1 meter social distancing rules would work for them and be financially viable. Or, they want to hang on and open as "swingers clubs" once covid is over at a guess. We are opening as a non sexual bar to answer the demand from our customers to "socialise" with old friends. Hate to say it, but we will be policing ourselves for sexual activity and taking action against anyone who breaks what we think are sensible guidelines that allow us to open in some very minor form. It’s just wrong, you are a club. You can dress it up as you want, you are encouraging people to meet up, and go back to their rooms with others, or even outside. I understand financially it must be hard on all clubs, but the risk of opening too soon is damaging. And I would imagine those that attend are those that are moaning about group gatherings on the beaches. I just think it is giving clubs a bad reputation when I see they announce they are opening. Places like Eurekas are ok, it’s open space, even then I can’t see how they can police playing. No, we are opening for those who accept our no sex policy. That's it. Whilst appreciating and understanding financial aspects and requirements, are you sure you aren't encouraging like minded people to attend, chat with others, and arrange meets, which currently are not allowed. I guess people are probably meeting others (not so much off here, where it's banned), but will these 'socials' not encourage 'non social distancing' meets which may well compromise some peoples health?" Fab is also allowing social meets under the current 2 metre guidelines....are they also compromising peoples health? | |||
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Reply privately (thread closed by moderator) | |||
"Legaly any sex club or cinema opening soon will have to at least pretend publically that there wont be any sex. But if you go to that place are you still expecting to have sex with the oweners turning s blind eye or even setting it up more descretly than usual. Or would you just pop in for a chat and cuppa?" And lose our club license? No.  | |||
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"Also OP - do you mean sex clubs or swingers clubs? Because they’re 2 different things?! whats the difference then? " A sex club normally has payed hosts to entertain and are not swingers clubs Swingers clubs are for people from the lifestyle who want to meet up with like minded people on the scene there is no guarantee of sex happening There are many types of people on the swing scene from voyeuristic couples people who just like to watch soft swap couples to full swap and also people who just want a place to socialise with others on the scene So yes two are very different | |||
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"Like the whole world, we’ve craved for a bit of a social life for quite a while now. We’ve kept safe, adhered to the government rules and guidelines and only the last few weeks we have been a bit more outgoing (eg more walks to the parks. Even when it was an hour a day at the start, we chose not to). We’ve wanted some items from IKEA but the two times we were close, we chose not to because the queues were ridiculous. We’d rather wait until it lightens a bit. We’d love a beach but the recent pictures simply supported our thoughts that we’ll instead enjoy the local areas. So when the government say that pubs can open. Of course we’re excited at the prospect of having a beer with some sort of social vibe around us. We then think what it’s going to be like, especially on the first day, even with safety measures in place. We decide we’ll hold back. However, we then learn that Xtasia is opening. Naturally, we’re apprehensive due to recent events but we read their Covid policy and what the guys have done to get their business up and running again and contribute to getting our economy moving and think that the swinging clubs, effectively private members clubs are more likely to be safer and far better managed and controlled than any public house that’ll be opening. For example, we’ve seen more trouble and fights happen in public establishments compared to private establishments, hence one of the reasons we prefer going to swinging clubs for a night out. I’m not suggesting for a second that any club opening will be offering wink wink facilities but if it did happen, I’d like to think that as human beings, most would take a sensible approach and follow sanitising rules and stick to, for want of a better word, swinging bubbles in the way that many people have not entirely adhered to government guidelines, especially with family and perhaps close friends, but taken a pragmatic and calculated approach. A quick example. A neighbour of ours got flooded the other week. None of our neighbours had seen any family and it was a weekly social distancing chat when clapping the NHS. But when the poor fella got flooded (a older vulnerable chap), do you think for one second we left him to deal with it? Nope about five neighbours went to help him out. Of course, this story doesn’t compare an emergency to a social life and drink. Yes indeed we could take even safer measures and reduce risk by having a drink with one or two couples in a garden. That said, will we see a second spike? Yes there’s a good chance we will. However, I don’t believe the swinging clubs will be the root cause of this. They don’t make a big enough demographic, compared to other potential risk areas. The bottom line is the economy has to be stimulated and we have to start trying to live in this unprecedented time. And we have to try and move forward, even without a vaccine. I do think it’s unjust to slate a swinging club and even judge them before they open with assumptions. We’ve been swinging for many many years now and the strong majority of the community we’ve spoken to tell me it’s not just about the sex. We love the social aspect to the swinging lifestyle. I’m sure this includes many of the critiques out there who have vanilla friends who look down on swinging and think it’s just about fucking (the ones you’ve explained to them that you swing not just because of fucking but the fact it’s very social and a lot safer than public pubs and night clubs, especially for single ladies). Xtasia are now providing this platform. Are we going to chastise them because swinging clubs have the associated sex label? Or are we going to collate them with every pub, every independent cafe & SME within the food, non essential retail, recreation and leisure industry and criticise every single one of these places for opening up and trying to rescue their damaged businesses. Our personal thoughts are, and in particular Xtasia, have put in place safe and sensible measures adhering to government guidelines and will most likely be far safer than a pub opening the same day. So to get back on track and add our contribution to the OPs question. We would go to a club that says wink wink no sex, if that’s what a club has said. But the algorithm for us is much more than that. And if ever we felt uncomfortable, we would leave; just like we’ve done in the past prior to Covid-19. This post is not a personal attack on anybody, but it’s my (our) view and I do hope it gives you a different perspective from a couple who have, like this majority, taken this pandemic journey seriously over the last three months with some calculated decision making." Well said | |||
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"Also OP - do you mean sex clubs or swingers clubs? Because they’re 2 different things?! whats the difference then? " The biggest one seems to be your attitude to be perfectly honest..... if my local pub opens with the socially distanced guidlines... then i may have one in there to help support them... some with this... if they can reasonably make the arrangements to operate as a bar only with no playing areas and socially distancing... then good on them... I mean.. if you can't control yourself and the temptation is for you to want to play... dont go!!!! simple as!!!! | |||
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"Any club that does this is putting their licence and their livelihood on the line" Not to mention their customers. I agree it's a ridiculous and totally irresponsible proposition. | |||
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"We have seen on this forum a couple of clubs that intend to open under the guise of a Hotel or a Bar with suggestions of play between partners or bubbles and voyeurism. Not a very sensible way forward and not giving themselves a good name. They defend themselves by saying those who don't want to come should refrain from the criticism and just stay away. It is good to see most clubs are doing the sensible thing though, so OP is correct to say that some are saying 'wink wink' OK I'll re-phrase slightly. If a club is breaking the guidelines then they run the risk of being closed down, loosing their income and livelihoods as per Townhouse comment. If they can open within the guidelines, then surely as a business they should be allowed to try as early as they can? Those not opening at the moment are doing so because either they fall into other categories, such as spa's being wet based clubs, or they can't see how a 2 meter, or 1 meter social distancing rules would work for them and be financially viable. Or, they want to hang on and open as "swingers clubs" once covid is over at a guess. We are opening as a non sexual bar to answer the demand from our customers to "socialise" with old friends. Hate to say it, but we will be policing ourselves for sexual activity and taking action against anyone who breaks what we think are sensible guidelines that allow us to open in some very minor form. It’s just wrong, you are a club. You can dress it up as you want, you are encouraging people to meet up, and go back to their rooms with others, or even outside. I understand financially it must be hard on all clubs, but the risk of opening too soon is damaging. And I would imagine those that attend are those that are moaning about group gatherings on the beaches. I just think it is giving clubs a bad reputation when I see they announce they are opening. Places like Eurekas are ok, it’s open space, even then I can’t see how they can police playing. No, we are opening for those who accept our no sex policy. That's it. Whilst appreciating and understanding financial aspects and requirements, are you sure you aren't encouraging like minded people to attend, chat with others, and arrange meets, which currently are not allowed. I guess people are probably meeting others (not so much off here, where it's banned), but will these 'socials' not encourage 'non social distancing' meets which may well compromise some peoples health? Fab is also allowing social meets under the current 2 metre guidelines....are they also compromising peoples health? " If you read the post properly , I said 'non social distancing' . | |||
Reply privately (thread closed by moderator) | |||
"Like the whole world, we’ve craved for a bit of a social life for quite a while now. We’ve kept safe, adhered to the government rules and guidelines and only the last few weeks we have been a bit more outgoing (eg more walks to the parks. Even when it was an hour a day at the start, we chose not to). We’ve wanted some items from IKEA but the two times we were close, we chose not to because the queues were ridiculous. We’d rather wait until it lightens a bit. We’d love a beach but the recent pictures simply supported our thoughts that we’ll instead enjoy the local areas. So when the government say that pubs can open. Of course we’re excited at the prospect of having a beer with some sort of social vibe around us. We then think what it’s going to be like, especially on the first day, even with safety measures in place. We decide we’ll hold back. However, we then learn that Xtasia is opening. Naturally, we’re apprehensive due to recent events but we read their Covid policy and what the guys have done to get their business up and running again and contribute to getting our economy moving and think that the swinging clubs, effectively private members clubs are more likely to be safer and far better managed and controlled than any public house that’ll be opening. For example, we’ve seen more trouble and fights happen in public establishments compared to private establishments, hence one of the reasons we prefer going to swinging clubs for a night out. I’m not suggesting for a second that any club opening will be offering wink wink facilities but if it did happen, I’d like to think that as human beings, most would take a sensible approach and follow sanitising rules and stick to, for want of a better word, swinging bubbles in the way that many people have not entirely adhered to government guidelines, especially with family and perhaps close friends, but taken a pragmatic and calculated approach. A quick example. A neighbour of ours got flooded the other week. None of our neighbours had seen any family and it was a weekly social distancing chat when clapping the NHS. But when the poor fella got flooded (a older vulnerable chap), do you think for one second we left him to deal with it? Nope about five neighbours went to help him out. Of course, this story doesn’t compare an emergency to a social life and drink. Yes indeed we could take even safer measures and reduce risk by having a drink with one or two couples in a garden. That said, will we see a second spike? Yes there’s a good chance we will. However, I don’t believe the swinging clubs will be the root cause of this. They don’t make a big enough demographic, compared to other potential risk areas. The bottom line is the economy has to be stimulated and we have to start trying to live in this unprecedented time. And we have to try and move forward, even without a vaccine. I do think it’s unjust to slate a swinging club and even judge them before they open with assumptions. We’ve been swinging for many many years now and the strong majority of the community we’ve spoken to tell me it’s not just about the sex. We love the social aspect to the swinging lifestyle. I’m sure this includes many of the critiques out there who have vanilla friends who look down on swinging and think it’s just about fucking (the ones you’ve explained to them that you swing not just because of fucking but the fact it’s very social and a lot safer than public pubs and night clubs, especially for single ladies). Xtasia are now providing this platform. Are we going to chastise them because swinging clubs have the associated sex label? Or are we going to collate them with every pub, every independent cafe & SME within the food, non essential retail, recreation and leisure industry and criticise every single one of these places for opening up and trying to rescue their damaged businesses. Our personal thoughts are, and in particular Xtasia, have put in place safe and sensible measures adhering to government guidelines and will most likely be far safer than a pub opening the same day. So to get back on track and add our contribution to the OPs question. We would go to a club that says wink wink no sex, if that’s what a club has said. But the algorithm for us is much more than that. And if ever we felt uncomfortable, we would leave; just like we’ve done in the past prior to Covid-19. This post is not a personal attack on anybody, but it’s my (our) view and I do hope it gives you a different perspective from a couple who have, like this majority, taken this pandemic journey seriously over the last three months with some calculated decision making." ********************************************** A refreshingly sensible and excellently written post, in my opinion. Thank you both. Eva XXX | |||
Reply privately (thread closed by moderator) | |||
"We have seen on this forum a couple of clubs that intend to open under the guise of a Hotel or a Bar with suggestions of play between partners or bubbles and voyeurism. Not a very sensible way forward and not giving themselves a good name. They defend themselves by saying those who don't want to come should refrain from the criticism and just stay away. It is good to see most clubs are doing the sensible thing though, so OP is correct to say that some are saying 'wink wink' OK I'll re-phrase slightly. If a club is breaking the guidelines then they run the risk of being closed down, loosing their income and livelihoods as per Townhouse comment. If they can open within the guidelines, then surely as a business they should be allowed to try as early as they can? Those not opening at the moment are doing so because either they fall into other categories, such as spa's being wet based clubs, or they can't see how a 2 meter, or 1 meter social distancing rules would work for them and be financially viable. Or, they want to hang on and open as "swingers clubs" once covid is over at a guess. We are opening as a non sexual bar to answer the demand from our customers to "socialise" with old friends. Hate to say it, but we will be policing ourselves for sexual activity and taking action against anyone who breaks what we think are sensible guidelines that allow us to open in some very minor form. It’s just wrong, you are a club. You can dress it up as you want, you are encouraging people to meet up, and go back to their rooms with others, or even outside. I understand financially it must be hard on all clubs, but the risk of opening too soon is damaging. And I would imagine those that attend are those that are moaning about group gatherings on the beaches. I just think it is giving clubs a bad reputation when I see they announce they are opening. Places like Eurekas are ok, it’s open space, even then I can’t see how they can police playing. No, we are opening for those who accept our no sex policy. That's it. Whilst appreciating and understanding financial aspects and requirements, are you sure you aren't encouraging like minded people to attend, chat with others, and arrange meets, which currently are not allowed. I guess people are probably meeting others (not so much off here, where it's banned), but will these 'socials' not encourage 'non social distancing' meets which may well compromise some peoples health? Fab is also allowing social meets under the current 2 metre guidelines....are they also compromising peoples health? If you read the post properly , I said 'non social distancing' . " Yes, I read it properly....so if we meet another couple, socially, with the appropriate 2 metre distancing...will that then encourage a second meet with no social distancing, like you’re inferring could happen at a social only club event? | |||
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"Also OP - do you mean sex clubs or swingers clubs? Because they’re 2 different things?! whats the difference then? The biggest one seems to be your attitude to be perfectly honest..... if my local pub opens with the socially distanced guidlines... then i may have one in there to help support them... some with this... if they can reasonably make the arrangements to operate as a bar only with no playing areas and socially distancing... then good on them... I mean.. if you can't control yourself and the temptation is for you to want to play... dont go!!!! simple as!!!!" That's all very good if opening purely as a bar but when suggestions are made that play may happen then backtrack when everyone is outraged is not a good advertisement for the great clubs out there who really are opening purely to social. As OP said its the 'wink wink' clubs who are going to get all the rest a bad rep. Keeping all play areas out of bounds and not to let couples and bubbles play. As someone said, this is illegal. There are always going to be clubs that try and get round the rules and put people in danger. | |||
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"Like the whole world, we’ve craved for a bit of a social life for quite a while now. We’ve kept safe, adhered to the government rules and guidelines and only the last few weeks we have been a bit more outgoing (eg more walks to the parks. Even when it was an hour a day at the start, we chose not to). We’ve wanted some items from IKEA but the two times we were close, we chose not to because the queues were ridiculous. We’d rather wait until it lightens a bit. We’d love a beach but the recent pictures simply supported our thoughts that we’ll instead enjoy the local areas. So when the government say that pubs can open. Of course we’re excited at the prospect of having a beer with some sort of social vibe around us. We then think what it’s going to be like, especially on the first day, even with safety measures in place. We decide we’ll hold back. However, we then learn that Xtasia is opening. Naturally, we’re apprehensive due to recent events but we read their Covid policy and what the guys have done to get their business up and running again and contribute to getting our economy moving and think that the swinging clubs, effectively private members clubs are more likely to be safer and far better managed and controlled than any public house that’ll be opening. For example, we’ve seen more trouble and fights happen in public establishments compared to private establishments, hence one of the reasons we prefer going to swinging clubs for a night out. I’m not suggesting for a second that any club opening will be offering wink wink facilities but if it did happen, I’d like to think that as human beings, most would take a sensible approach and follow sanitising rules and stick to, for want of a better word, swinging bubbles in the way that many people have not entirely adhered to government guidelines, especially with family and perhaps close friends, but taken a pragmatic and calculated approach. A quick example. A neighbour of ours got flooded the other week. None of our neighbours had seen any family and it was a weekly social distancing chat when clapping the NHS. But when the poor fella got flooded (a older vulnerable chap), do you think for one second we left him to deal with it? Nope about five neighbours went to help him out. Of course, this story doesn’t compare an emergency to a social life and drink. Yes indeed we could take even safer measures and reduce risk by having a drink with one or two couples in a garden. That said, will we see a second spike? Yes there’s a good chance we will. However, I don’t believe the swinging clubs will be the root cause of this. They don’t make a big enough demographic, compared to other potential risk areas. The bottom line is the economy has to be stimulated and we have to start trying to live in this unprecedented time. And we have to try and move forward, even without a vaccine. I do think it’s unjust to slate a swinging club and even judge them before they open with assumptions. We’ve been swinging for many many years now and the strong majority of the community we’ve spoken to tell me it’s not just about the sex. We love the social aspect to the swinging lifestyle. I’m sure this includes many of the critiques out there who have vanilla friends who look down on swinging and think it’s just about fucking (the ones you’ve explained to them that you swing not just because of fucking but the fact it’s very social and a lot safer than public pubs and night clubs, especially for single ladies). Xtasia are now providing this platform. Are we going to chastise them because swinging clubs have the associated sex label? Or are we going to collate them with every pub, every independent cafe & SME within the food, non essential retail, recreation and leisure industry and criticise every single one of these places for opening up and trying to rescue their damaged businesses. Our personal thoughts are, and in particular Xtasia, have put in place safe and sensible measures adhering to government guidelines and will most likely be far safer than a pub opening the same day. So to get back on track and add our contribution to the OPs question. We would go to a club that says wink wink no sex, if that’s what a club has said. But the algorithm for us is much more than that. And if ever we felt uncomfortable, we would leave; just like we’ve done in the past prior to Covid-19. This post is not a personal attack on anybody, but it’s my (our) view and I do hope it gives you a different perspective from a couple who have, like this majority, taken this pandemic journey seriously over the last three months with some calculated decision making." Well reasoned and well balanced!! Thank you!! | |||
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"Anyone who says "wink wink" I try to avoid. " There are some large clubs that are licensed to sell alcohol and on paper could open as a pub with no 'wink wink' Trouble is there are lots of sexually frustrated people out there and sex doesn't always bring out the best in some people. Its going to be a very hard to police their customers when alcohol is then thrown into the mix and upsetting their loyal members is not going to be good. Personally we wouldn't open if we had a club but we don't so not our call. We think the clubs who are weathering the storm and going to wait a little longer have a great duty of care for their staff and customers. | |||
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"We have seen on this forum a couple of clubs that intend to open under the guise of a Hotel or a Bar with suggestions of play between partners or bubbles and voyeurism. Not a very sensible way forward and not giving themselves a good name. They defend themselves by saying those who don't want to come should refrain from the criticism and just stay away. It is good to see most clubs are doing the sensible thing though, so OP is correct to say that some are saying 'wink wink' OK I'll re-phrase slightly. If a club is breaking the guidelines then they run the risk of being closed down, loosing their income and livelihoods as per Townhouse comment. If they can open within the guidelines, then surely as a business they should be allowed to try as early as they can? Those not opening at the moment are doing so because either they fall into other categories, such as spa's being wet based clubs, or they can't see how a 2 meter, or 1 meter social distancing rules would work for them and be financially viable. Or, they want to hang on and open as "swingers clubs" once covid is over at a guess. We are opening as a non sexual bar to answer the demand from our customers to "socialise" with old friends. Hate to say it, but we will be policing ourselves for sexual activity and taking action against anyone who breaks what we think are sensible guidelines that allow us to open in some very minor form. It’s just wrong, you are a club. You can dress it up as you want, you are encouraging people to meet up, and go back to their rooms with others, or even outside. I understand financially it must be hard on all clubs, but the risk of opening too soon is damaging. And I would imagine those that attend are those that are moaning about group gatherings on the beaches. I just think it is giving clubs a bad reputation when I see they announce they are opening. Places like Eurekas are ok, it’s open space, even then I can’t see how they can police playing. No, we are opening for those who accept our no sex policy. That's it. Whilst appreciating and understanding financial aspects and requirements, are you sure you aren't encouraging like minded people to attend, chat with others, and arrange meets, which currently are not allowed. I guess people are probably meeting others (not so much off here, where it's banned), but will these 'socials' not encourage 'non social distancing' meets which may well compromise some peoples health? Fab is also allowing social meets under the current 2 metre guidelines....are they also compromising peoples health? If you read the post properly , I said 'non social distancing' . Yes, I read it properly....so if we meet another couple, socially, with the appropriate 2 metre distancing...will that then encourage a second meet with no social distancing, like you’re inferring could happen at a social only club event?" Some people have self control and abide by the government guidelines and laws. Who's to say people meeting up in a "normal" bar/pub/ aren't going to arrange a second meet without social distancing. I for one have gone to many clubs including Townhouse and just socialised, sometimes watched play from a distance and nothing more. Government guidelines/laws are the same whether it be a swingers pub/club or not. Vicky and Jim have not and will not tolerate breaking and abuse of club/government rules. | |||
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"Like the whole world, we’ve craved for a bit of a social life for quite a while now. We’ve kept safe, adhered to the government rules and guidelines and only the last few weeks we have been a bit more outgoing (eg more walks to the parks. Even when it was an hour a day at the start, we chose not to). We’ve wanted some items from IKEA but the two times we were close, we chose not to because the queues were ridiculous. We’d rather wait until it lightens a bit. We’d love a beach but the recent pictures simply supported our thoughts that we’ll instead enjoy the local areas. So when the government say that pubs can open. Of course we’re excited at the prospect of having a beer with some sort of social vibe around us. We then think what it’s going to be like, especially on the first day, even with safety measures in place. We decide we’ll hold back. However, we then learn that Xtasia is opening. Naturally, we’re apprehensive due to recent events but we read their Covid policy and what the guys have done to get their business up and running again and contribute to getting our economy moving and think that the swinging clubs, effectively private members clubs are more likely to be safer and far better managed and controlled than any public house that’ll be opening. For example, we’ve seen more trouble and fights happen in public establishments compared to private establishments, hence one of the reasons we prefer going to swinging clubs for a night out. I’m not suggesting for a second that any club opening will be offering wink wink facilities but if it did happen, I’d like to think that as human beings, most would take a sensible approach and follow sanitising rules and stick to, for want of a better word, swinging bubbles in the way that many people have not entirely adhered to government guidelines, especially with family and perhaps close friends, but taken a pragmatic and calculated approach. A quick example. A neighbour of ours got flooded the other week. None of our neighbours had seen any family and it was a weekly social distancing chat when clapping the NHS. But when the poor fella got flooded (a older vulnerable chap), do you think for one second we left him to deal with it? Nope about five neighbours went to help him out. Of course, this story doesn’t compare an emergency to a social life and drink. Yes indeed we could take even safer measures and reduce risk by having a drink with one or two couples in a garden. That said, will we see a second spike? Yes there’s a good chance we will. However, I don’t believe the swinging clubs will be the root cause of this. They don’t make a big enough demographic, compared to other potential risk areas. The bottom line is the economy has to be stimulated and we have to start trying to live in this unprecedented time. And we have to try and move forward, even without a vaccine. I do think it’s unjust to slate a swinging club and even judge them before they open with assumptions. We’ve been swinging for many many years now and the strong majority of the community we’ve spoken to tell me it’s not just about the sex. We love the social aspect to the swinging lifestyle. I’m sure this includes many of the critiques out there who have vanilla friends who look down on swinging and think it’s just about fucking (the ones you’ve explained to them that you swing not just because of fucking but the fact it’s very social and a lot safer than public pubs and night clubs, especially for single ladies). Xtasia are now providing this platform. Are we going to chastise them because swinging clubs have the associated sex label? Or are we going to collate them with every pub, every independent cafe & SME within the food, non essential retail, recreation and leisure industry and criticise every single one of these places for opening up and trying to rescue their damaged businesses. Our personal thoughts are, and in particular Xtasia, have put in place safe and sensible measures adhering to government guidelines and will most likely be far safer than a pub opening the same day. So to get back on track and add our contribution to the OPs question. We would go to a club that says wink wink no sex, if that’s what a club has said. But the algorithm for us is much more than that. And if ever we felt uncomfortable, we would leave; just like we’ve done in the past prior to Covid-19. This post is not a personal attack on anybody, but it’s my (our) view and I do hope it gives you a different perspective from a couple who have, like this majority, taken this pandemic journey seriously over the last three months with some calculated decision making." Well said xx | |||
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"We know that a club is trying to get around laws by saying it’s not a spa but a club and all the playrooms will be closed also by saying it’s not a private party but they are hiring out the space. ..and no fun /sex allowed. . believe that and you must believe In unicorns leprechauns and Newcastle can win the league in 2021. ..it ain’t going to happen. " Oi oi I believe in Unicorns as I am one | |||
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"Legaly any sex club or cinema opening soon will have to at least pretend publically that there wont be any sex. But if you go to that place are you still expecting to have sex with the oweners turning s blind eye or even setting it up more descretly than usual. Or would you just pop in for a chat and cuppa?" Yes I would just pop in for a chat and a cuppa...or a soft drink, as I'm normally driving and I have done just that many times. I like the social scene. X | |||
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"Legaly any sex club or cinema opening soon will have to at least pretend publically that there wont be any sex. But if you go to that place are you still expecting to have sex with the oweners turning s blind eye or even setting it up more descretly than usual. Or would you just pop in for a chat and cuppa?" If there was any swingers’ event like a bisexual mini social, I would have gladly attended and I would have gladly adhered to the 1 metre+ distance, no sex and no monkey business, purely to chat to people and socialise. It would have been fantastic if something like that could have happened in a big outdoor area but, where is such an event in Yorkshire? X  | |||
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"We know that a club is trying to get around laws by saying it’s not a spa but a club and all the playrooms will be closed also by saying it’s not a private party but they are hiring out the space. ..and no fun /sex allowed. . believe that and you must believe In unicorns leprechauns and Newcastle can win the league in 2021. ..it ain’t going to happen. Oi oi I believe in Unicorns as I am one "... sorry I forgot there actually is unicorns on fab. ... and nice ones at that. ... | |||
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"Any indoor club is taking far too much of a risk. Anyone that opens this early should Be avoided, Daft opening " You are not the voice of the nation nor the voice of the people, there for as another human being we all have the right to make our own choices in life | |||
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"Any indoor club is taking far too much of a risk. Anyone that opens this early should Be avoided, Daft opening You are not the voice of the nation nor the voice of the people, there for as another human being we all have the right to make our own choices in life " Of course you can assert your rights. But as a nation we are in a bit of a pickle right now. And the virus is still very much in the community. Maybe think of others as well as yourself.. You may not catch it. But you may spread it to others. If we all thought the way you write and had not restricted our contacts. Many more thousands would have died. We've done a lot of hard work, just grit our teeth for a few more months and take the virus out of the community. | |||
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"I suppose for me I would be wondering that if the club owners were willing to turn a blind eye to one law/rule/guideline for the sake of their business, what other health/cleaning/safety rules would they be turning a blind eye too? To clarify, I would wonder about this for any business at anytime but just now and not just for swinging " I don't think any club has said they will be turning a blind eye. | |||
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"But if you go to that place are you still expecting to have sex with the oweners turning s blind eye or even setting it up more descretly than usual" Original question posted by the OP asking how you would feel if the owners would turn a blind eye | |||
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"That’s not true. Most pubs you gave to book into so that they can maintain a safe number. You book a table, and can only be max 4 people from the same household. All these clubs are opening illegally, it’s wrong, each to their own. They are encouraging playing and meets, I’d imagine many will report them, and rightly so " . Exactly. The are facilitating ..why open at all. Any well run club would have workers furloughed like the other millions of workers. They will have government assistance as have other businesses. If they are classed as self employed and disclose all there earning they will again have help from government. There rates will be discounted to a degree as they are unable to work at there place of work owing to Covid. They will have no overheads to pay .... but. They will try to circumvent any and all advice from government to suit there needs ... Regards Fabios post on this thread ..even he states in another thread that he wouldn’t be frequenting any club for a good while. ie he’s staying safe ... we can’t any club who are planning on opening take Fabios most elonquent advice from previous thread. ???? Stay CLOSED and don’t facilitate | |||
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"That’s not true. Most pubs you gave to book into so that they can maintain a safe number. You book a table, and can only be max 4 people from the same household. All these clubs are opening illegally, it’s wrong, each to their own. They are encouraging playing and meets, I’d imagine many will report them, and rightly so " I'd imagine they have permission from the relevant authorities to open, making it perfectly legal. | |||
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"That’s not true. Most pubs you gave to book into so that they can maintain a safe number. You book a table, and can only be max 4 people from the same household. All these clubs are opening illegally, it’s wrong, each to their own. They are encouraging playing and meets, I’d imagine many will report them, and rightly so . Exactly. The are facilitating ..why open at all. Any well run club would have workers furloughed like the other millions of workers. They will have government assistance as have other businesses. If they are classed as self employed and disclose all there earning they will again have help from government. There rates will be discounted to a degree as they are unable to work at there place of work owing to Covid. They will have no overheads to pay .... but. They will try to circumvent any and all advice from government to suit there needs ... Regards Fabios post on this thread ..even he states in another thread that he wouldn’t be frequenting any club for a good while. ie he’s staying safe ... we can’t any club who are planning on opening take Fabios most elonquent advice from previous thread. ???? Stay CLOSED and don’t facilitate " This is completely false, they do have overheads to pay. | |||
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"That’s not true. Most pubs you gave to book into so that they can maintain a safe number. You book a table, and can only be max 4 people from the same household. All these clubs are opening illegally, it’s wrong, each to their own. They are encouraging playing and meets, I’d imagine many will report them, and rightly so I'd imagine they have permission from the relevant authorities to open, making it perfectly legal." You’d imagine, so guessing they do? | |||
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"That’s not true. Most pubs you gave to book into so that they can maintain a safe number. You book a table, and can only be max 4 people from the same household. All these clubs are opening illegally, it’s wrong, each to their own. They are encouraging playing and meets, I’d imagine many will report them, and rightly so I'd imagine they have permission from the relevant authorities to open, making it perfectly legal. You’d imagine, so guessing they do? " You're saying they are opening illegally which is nothing but guess work, what's the difference? | |||
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The wife and I have observed our lockdown with 4 kids at home. We do not like vanilla clubs or pubs as we feel the atmosphere can be quiet toxic at times; because of this if we go for a night out it would nearly always be to a swingers club:
We enjoy Xtasia massively, we enjoy the company of the friends we have made and think a lot of the fantastic owners and staff.
We feel the rules put in place allow us to get out for a break from the pressure cooker of home life, meet up with friends and other like minded people and show our support to the staff and management at the time they most need it.
Knowing from first hand experience how well Xtasia is run we have absolutely no reservations
about attending on Saturday.
Things have to start returning to normal at some point, this point will be different for everyone based upon there own thoughts, feelings and circumstances.... this is exactly the same for clubs and wider businesses.
Xtasia is a licensed premises and will have had to satisfy the police and local council before reopening, Given that they will have inspected the premises before granting such permissions and will no doubt have looked at the clubs history of compliance and any previous trouble or criminal behaviour .Safe to say then that they are far better placed than anyone on these forums to decide if Xtasia or any other club like it can open safely.
If then any of you feel otherwise just stay away but don’t come on a public forum and pour scorn upon the reputation of clubs and their patrons who have a different set of opinions and circumstances to you.
See you next week guys | |||
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"That’s not true. Most pubs you gave to book into so that they can maintain a safe number. You book a table, and can only be max 4 people from the same household. All these clubs are opening illegally, it’s wrong, each to their own. They are encouraging playing and meets, I’d imagine many will report them, and rightly so I'd imagine they have permission from the relevant authorities to open, making it perfectly legal. You’d imagine, so guessing they do? " Also, I'll leave this here Libel 'a published false statement that is damaging to a person's reputation; a written defamation.' | |||
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"That’s not true. Most pubs you gave to book into so that they can maintain a safe number. You book a table, and can only be max 4 people from the same household. All these clubs are opening illegally, it’s wrong, each to their own. They are encouraging playing and meets, I’d imagine many will report them, and rightly so " Absolutely. Of course they are encouraging meets and playing . All this while we still have 1000 people a week dying of Covid! | |||
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"Legaly any sex club or cinema opening soon will have to at least pretend publically that there wont be any sex. But if you go to that place are you still expecting to have sex with the oweners turning s blind eye or even setting it up more descretly than usual. Or would you just pop in for a chat and cuppa?" What a silly post. | |||
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