FabSwingers.com > Forums > Chat room feedback/discussion > BDSM chatroom
BDSM chatroom
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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I thought I had posted this earlier but it seems I havent! so apologies if its duplicated.
Earlier today I was in the directed rooms and was speaking to a sub male who asked me to direct him as a mistress. I did so, while staying very respectful to the rest of the room. I gave him 2 requests.. 1 to let me inspect his body on cam for 2 mins (humiliation) and 2 he was given 1 min of my time to play and cum for me as I watched.
This was very tame for how I would normally play with subs however I was extremely respectful of the other room users. I did not swear, nor did I use derogatory language, much to the disappointment of the sub. However, I received heavy critisism in the room from users about my requests to the point I felt I needed to leave and did so.
I feel there needs to be a BDSM friendly room that embraces and accepts the lifestyle for those who want more than a 50 shades tickle.
Yours
Kitty |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I thought the idea of the directing rooms was to direct in , just me but can't see what the problem was if you were within rules then sod the others. 
"
I agree.. I was way within the rules.. their issue was because I was giving him a time limit to impress me they thought I was arrogant and conceited... Missing the power dynamics of bdsm altogether.
Im far from arrogant. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I thought the idea of the directing rooms was to direct in , just me but can't see what the problem was if you were within rules then sod the others.
I agree.. I was way within the rules.. their issue was because I was giving him a time limit to impress me they thought I was arrogant and conceited... Missing the power dynamics of bdsm altogether.
Im far from arrogant. "
If any users in chat cause issues just block them. Do not give them the oxygen of commenting. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Far to many users of chat have too much to say about others when they really should take long hard looks in the mirror.
F*ck what others think. You are here for your pleasure NOT theirs! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I thought I had posted this earlier but it seems I havent! so apologies if its duplicated.
Earlier today I was in the directed rooms and was speaking to a sub male who asked me to direct him as a mistress. I did so, while staying very respectful to the rest of the room. I gave him 2 requests.. 1 to let me inspect his body on cam for 2 mins (humiliation) and 2 he was given 1 min of my time to play and cum for me as I watched.
This was very tame for how I would normally play with subs however I was extremely respectful of the other room users. I did not swear, nor did I use derogatory language, much to the disappointment of the sub. However, I received heavy critisism in the room from users about my requests to the point I felt I needed to leave and did so.
I feel there needs to be a BDSM friendly room that embraces and accepts the lifestyle for those who want more than a 50 shades tickle.
Yours
Kitty"
We agree with you there   |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Far to many users of chat have too much to say about others when they really should take long hard looks in the mirror.
F*ck what others think. You are here for your pleasure NOT theirs!"
You are also here for my pleasure Angel to be fair   |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Maybe a BDSM site would be best for this, at least people will understand the dynamic."
Maybe ppl need to read up more on sub/mistress/master roles many don't have a clue what is involved but definately quick to jump in and cause mayhem lol  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Far to many users of chat have too much to say about others when they really should take long hard looks in the mirror.
F*ck what others think. You are here for your pleasure NOT theirs!
You are also here for my pleasure Angel to be fair "
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I think a BDSM room is a great idea. There are many who join both the scenes together at times & if a lot of swinging clubs cater for BDSM & swinging, then I don't see any harm in an extra room.
Yrs I know you can block others in the usual chat rooms, but a specific room might unite other D/s etc together.
Those who think a specific site is best used, I bet most are already on there, but they still wanna incorporate a bit of kink in the swinging world. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I thought I had posted this earlier but it seems I havent! so apologies if its duplicated.
Earlier today I was in the directed rooms and was speaking to a sub male who asked me to direct him as a mistress. I did so, while staying very respectful to the rest of the room. I gave him 2 requests.. 1 to let me inspect his body on cam for 2 mins (humiliation) and 2 he was given 1 min of my time to play and cum for me as I watched.
This was very tame for how I would normally play with subs however I was extremely respectful of the other room users. I did not swear, nor did I use derogatory language, much to the disappointment of the sub. However, I received heavy critisism in the room from users about my requests to the point I felt I needed to leave and did so.
I feel there needs to be a BDSM friendly room that embraces and accepts the lifestyle for those who want more than a 50 shades tickle.
Yours
Kitty"
I agree it would add a very interesting dimension to the chatrooms |
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By *habsMan
over a year ago
Fortress of Solitude, Middlesex |
"Far to many users of chat have too much to say about others when they really should take long hard looks in the mirror.
F*ck what others think. You are here for your pleasure NOT theirs!"
Agrees! Way too many people think they "own" the chat rooms and somehow others have to get their permission. People like that are a plague to the community.
To the OP, as long as it was in directing rooms and you were within rules, carry on.
As far as a BDSM room goes, I am afraid it falls within the discussion on chat rooms for preferences: if admin create a room for one, they'd have to create a room for every preference going. |
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By *ts artMan
over a year ago
Londonderry |
"I thought I had posted this earlier but it seems I havent! so apologies if its duplicated.
Earlier today I was in the directed rooms and was speaking to a sub male who asked me to direct him as a mistress. I did so, while staying very respectful to the rest of the room. I gave him 2 requests.. 1 to let me inspect his body on cam for 2 mins (humiliation) and 2 he was given 1 min of my time to play and cum for me as I watched.
This was very tame for how I would normally play with subs however I was extremely respectful of the other room users. I did not swear, nor did I use derogatory language, much to the disappointment of the sub. However, I received heavy critisism in the room from users about my requests to the point I felt I needed to leave and did so.
I feel there needs to be a BDSM friendly room that embraces and accepts the lifestyle for those who want more than a 50 shades tickle.
Yours
Kitty"
Have his / your cam docked and use a pm window for your scene / instructions etc. Minimizing the main chat Window. |
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"I thought I had posted this earlier but it seems I havent! so apologies if its duplicated.
Earlier today I was in the directed rooms and was speaking to a sub male who asked me to direct him as a mistress. I did so, while staying very respectful to the rest of the room. I gave him 2 requests.. 1 to let me inspect his body on cam for 2 mins (humiliation) and 2 he was given 1 min of my time to play and cum for me as I watched.
This was very tame for how I would normally play with subs however I was extremely respectful of the other room users. I did not swear, nor did I use derogatory language, much to the disappointment of the sub. However, I received heavy critisism in the room from users about my requests to the point I felt I needed to leave and did so.
I feel there needs to be a BDSM friendly room that embraces and accepts the lifestyle for those who want more than a 50 shades tickle.
Yours
Kitty
Have his / your cam docked and use a pm window for your scene / instructions etc. Minimizing the main chat Window. "
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Even in pm cams are still visible to the main room."
They are but a big part of it for him is the public humiliation, this cannot be obtained in private PM. To everyone else he is just another cock cam. Maybe some visual humiliation on cam could work I guess.. but I equally like to get my 'thrill" and one of those for me its others seeing me Dom.. Be it in real life or chatroom.. Otherwise its me helping a stranger 'get off' .. And personally I feel it about me too.. correct me if im wrong
 |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Very intriguing thread..very much agree to the idea.perhaps the public humiliation on public cam..block any nuisance messages/messagers would be the only course??
sad but perhaps the only win-win situation? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I think the idea of reading up on sub dom master mistress role is important but can get mislead by pro dom notions...perhaps basing it on an amateur level is a good place to start..the idea of a bdsm chat would be a good place for interested parts having a place to suck it and see?!...no pun intended  |
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"Maybe a BDSM site would be best for this, at least people will understand the dynamic.
Maybe ppl need to read up more on sub/mistress/master roles many don't have a clue what is involved but definately quick to jump in and cause mayhem lol "
Maybe they do but this is a swinging site not a bdsm site so we can't really expect people to just understand. Whether you follow SSC or RACK the C = consensual. If observers (or in this case people in chatrooms) don't like what's happening it is hardly consensual. On a BDSM site I think it's fair to say if they don't like it they can leave but a swinging site?
For some it's just too far outside their comfort zone. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Maybe a BDSM site would be best for this, at least people will understand the dynamic.
Maybe ppl need to read up more on sub/mistress/master roles many don't have a clue what is involved but definately quick to jump in and cause mayhem lol
Maybe they do but this is a swinging site not a bdsm site so we can't really expect people to just understand. Whether you follow SSC or RACK the C = consensual. If observers (or in this case people in chatrooms) don't like what's happening it is hardly consensual. On a BDSM site I think it's fair to say if they don't like it they can leave but a swinging site?
For some it's just too far outside their comfort zone."
Yet every swinger club ive been too has a dungeon of some type and openly encourage it. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"True they do but in our experience in an Anne Summers "Look how kinky we are" way.
Obviously there are exceptions, Ceasars is (or was) one."
I have played 'fully' in many swinger club dungeons... and theres nothing fluffy or Ann summers about me |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I was talking about the clubs, not the people that use them "
I know... my point being I have never been asked to turn it down.. if anything swingers have been intrigued and want me to play with them. |
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"As far as a BDSM room goes, I am afraid it falls within the discussion on chat rooms for preferences: if admin create a room for one, they'd have to create a room for every preference going."
Maybe a Fetish room then instead of BDSM! We have found that BDSM is more accepted in the Fet scene; although once a lot of swingers realise that BDSM is mainly 'smoke and mirrors', they are more than willing to give it a try. A Fet/BDSM room would be great and why not have more rooms for specific interests. Although any interest outside of the 'Norm' is a fetish anyway |
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By *ezebelWoman
over a year ago
North of The Wall - youll need your vest |
Quite a few things that are acceptable on BDSM/Fet sites are against site rules on Fab, so would be a bit like saying heres a chat room specifically for your interests, but you can't talk about most of your interests otherwise youll end up being banned... |
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"Quite a few things that are acceptable on BDSM/Fet sites are against site rules on Fab, so would be a bit like saying heres a chat room specifically for your interests, but you can't talk about most of your interests otherwise youll end up being banned... "
I can't see any rules anywhere that says we can't talk about fetishes! Am I missing something, or where are these rules laid down? I can understand Illegal stuff, but consenting adults chatting about legal fetishes....Why on earth not....it's not like we live in North Korea!!
This wasn't supposed to be a rant at you Jezabel!! x |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Gosh you boys make us sound like another breed!! .... I am a nice girl ! F'd up sexual deviant, but a nice girl all the same!!!
So how do we propose this to admin? I can why it would be a problem... im not in scotland.. I dont use the Scotland room... Im not in Wales.. I dont use the Wales room.. (you see where im going!) if people get offended with kink they dont go in.
I dont think it should be only on a bdsm site.. there is a massive crossover between the two.
Kitty
Xxxxx |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I fully agree there should be no differencial between anything afterall where do I go with what I want.
I would like a dominatrix misstress while others are watching and inviting the females to join in. Spanking me, humilliating me, eventually ending up with a reverse gangbang with the females females wearing strapons.
So what have I taken from the list.
Voyerism, gangbang, toys, spanking, group sex, movie making, web cam, same room swaping, sm,
I don't think there should be a specific site afterall we come here to try new things and find someone with the same interest.
Prittylilkitty I,m sending a limo to pick you up with the best champaine money can buy. Any other females want to be picked up as well? I've cuffed myself to the ceiling ready.  |
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By *ohohoWoman
over a year ago
Up North |
I think BDSM seems to becoming more mainstream. Why should it only be in a separate room?
Every club I have been to has a dungeon. Which I am itching to use properly. Only issue is I don't like to be watched. |
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"Quite a few things that are acceptable on BDSM/Fet sites are against site rules on Fab, so would be a bit like saying heres a chat room specifically for your interests, but you can't talk about most of your interests otherwise youll end up being banned...
I can't see any rules anywhere that says we can't talk about fetishes! Am I missing something, or where are these rules laid down? I can understand Illegal stuff, but consenting adults chatting about legal fetishes....Why on earth not....it's not like we live in North Korea!!
This wasn't supposed to be a rant at you Jezabel!! x"
I've had forum bans for mentioning the kinks I'm into.
Yes, they may be legal, but it is a very fine line, and can very easily be misconstrued, especially with the nanny state government we currently have, and Fab not wanting to get into trouble.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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A BDSM room would be great! We aren't all turned on by the same things. Never mind the few silly people who got offended. Ignore them. This site is for open-minded people. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Great idea if not try the BDSM site Alt.com there is something for everyone. Plus a chat room just to cam in. "
Apart from that site have to pay to use. Lots people that swing also practice bdsm so agree this would be great feature on the site |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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A bdsm room would be fab n brill. As a sub cd it would be nice to be controlled by other members n think most people on here dont know the roles n the relationship between masters misstress's n their subs. Xxx |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I thought long and hard before commenting on this post.
Fab isn't a site geared up for BDSM. I agree that there are times where the two things (swinging and BDSM) cross over but fab is a swinging site. That being said I have been directed on cam by my ex Dominant but that was Him on the phone.
Does Fab need to have a BDSM chatroom, no I don't think it does, do people need to be more respectful and accepting? Yes I think they do. And that, in my ever so humble opinion, is where the problem lies.
Ruby |
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By *igwilly2kMan
over a year ago
The Land of Kink! |
I agree with the above in that people need to be more respectful and that is were the problem lies.
However, Fab isnt great at Fet, but it wouldn't take the IT boffins alot to get there, few extra optional checkboxes to fill ib on your profile page to make it kink seachable.
I don't think more rooms like a BDSM room is the answer cos then you'll get people asking for every room under the sun to be added then the rooms will get thinner & thinner with members and won't be enjoyable.
Again, there is a However. Why not add an addition function to the Private Message (PM) Were you can send your cam private 1-2-1 and wont be shown in the main room?
I have a massive kinky side my self and wish people could seach me out for that just as i could search other peoples specificly.
Soooo... If anyone needs a kinky switch male who can travel or accom that will do "ANYTHING" to please let me know! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I think a BDSM room is a great idea. There are many who join both the scenes together at times & if a lot of swinging clubs cater for BDSM & swinging, then I don't see any harm in an extra room.
Yrs I know you can block others in the usual chat rooms, but a specific room might unite other D/s etc together.
Those who think a specific site is best used, I bet most are already on there, but they still wanna incorporate a bit of kink in the swinging world. "
|
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I agree with the above in that people need to be more respectful and that is were the problem lies.
However, Fab isnt great at Fet, but it wouldn't take the IT boffins alot to get there, few extra optional checkboxes to fill ib on your profile page to make it kink seachable.
I don't think more rooms like a BDSM room is the answer cos then you'll get people asking for every room under the sun to be added then the rooms will get thinner & thinner with members and won't be enjoyable.
Again, there is a However. Why not add an addition function to the Private Message (PM) Were you can send your cam private 1-2-1 and wont be shown in the main room?
I have a massive kinky side my self and wish people could seach me out for that just as i could search other peoples specificly.
Soooo... If anyone needs a kinky switch male who can travel or accom that will do "ANYTHING" to please let me know! "
anything... Does that mean you will cut your cock off if you were told to? |
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"Gosh you boys make us sound like another breed!! .... I am a nice girl ! F'd up sexual deviant, but a nice girl all the same!!!
So how do we propose this to admin? I can why it would be a problem... im not in scotland.. I dont use the Scotland room... Im not in Wales.. I dont use the Wales room.. (you see where im going!) if people get offended with kink they dont go in.
I dont think it should be only on a bdsm site.. there is a massive crossover between the two.
Kitty
Xxxxx"
I think I missed something.... None of the people ranting turned off... They all continued to watch as you as you humiliated this consenting guy. 
What's their problem... I'm not everyones cup of tea. But I'm accepted. Why not this... after all we're all adults. |
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"A bdsm room would be fab n brill. As a sub cd it would be nice to be controlled by other members n think most people on here dont know the roles n the relationship between masters misstress's n their subs. Xxx"
Hi... nice boots  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Swinging and kink are 2 seperate entitities. There is a cross over but equally we know plenty of people on both scenes who have no interest in crossing over. And while I loathe the elitest crap that can be found on both sides that somehow swinging or kink is superior to the other, it doesn;t alter the fact that the dynamics of both scenes are very different.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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100% agree fetlife is a good network for that scene but there should be a open space for it on fab as there are alot of us into DS lifestyle Aswell as swinging, I understand alot of people like to keep it separate but it would a persons choice to use said space and I think it would be great idea, I for one would use it
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"If you want the scene on public cam and chat then you will just have to block the detractors
I know im probably being too sensitive "
Simplez - just tell the others to keep their nose out of things they can and wont understand. Loads of want to be's in chat rooms, who think they know what BDSM is; don't bother about them if you don't reply or react they usually vanish |
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Sadly there are too many people in the cam rooms that feel they 'own' them and that their way of using them is the only way!
We've been put off using the cam rooms for some of our D/s play as narrow minded critiscm by some spoils it 
Mrs Dirty |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I think a get/bdsm room is a good idea. It allows people with similar interests to interact in a room, without upsetting other who use the direction rooms. Does the site really need 4 directing rooms now? Could one room be sacrificed for what seems like a growing number of people that would use the room.
It would seem more people are introducing fetish and Bdsm into their swinging play. I think the issue is that some believe you have to be in the scene 24hrs a day. Therefore they don't see those that like to dip in and out as in the scene.
The simple thing to do, is upon entering the room have a warning of content scrolling on the screen. Similar to the warning that all chats are logged warning. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I thought I had posted this earlier but it seems I havent! so apologies if its duplicated.
Earlier today I was in the directed rooms and was speaking to a sub male who asked me to direct him as a mistress. I did so, while staying very respectful to the rest of the room. I gave him 2 requests.. 1 to let me inspect his body on cam for 2 mins (humiliation) and 2 he was given 1 min of my time to play and cum for me as I watched.
This was very tame for how I would normally play with subs however I was extremely respectful of the other room users. I did not swear, nor did I use derogatory language, much to the disappointment of the sub. However, I received heavy critisism in the room from users about my requests to the point I felt I needed to leave and did so.
I feel there needs to be a BDSM friendly room that embraces and accepts the lifestyle for those who want more than a 50 shades tickle.
Yours
Kitty
We agree with you there "
I was thinking this too |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Would LOVE a BDSM room....the vanillas simply don't get the scene & I've had to explain & defend people who are trying to Dom me in the chatroom. Some members (though really sweet as they think they're defending me) will jump on anyone that tries to Dom me, so much so that 9/10 we give up.
It would be awesome to have a room where we could just get on with it!
Fetlife is an OK site, but nowhere near as friendly or as useable as here.
Trina |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I'd like there to be one or two specialist rooms. A BDSM room would be fine by me. Come to think of it, I'd like a bi men room, which might free up some of the other rooms. I don't really like the geographical categories - I don't think anyone sticks to them. And USA and Canada could be merged into one. |
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"I'd like there to be one or two specialist rooms. A BDSM room would be fine by me. Come to think of it, I'd like a bi men room, which might free up some of the other rooms. I don't really like the geographical categories - I don't think anyone sticks to them. And USA and Canada could be merged into one."
But they are two very large, very distinct, very different countries. Why should they be merged together? |
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I thoroughly agree with you; time limits are important whether in providing a message response, completing a set task, getting undressed or ejaculating / achieving orgasm.
I suspect, like others have already commented, that the other room users do not understand the ds dynamic.
It might be worthwhile to write out a brief explanation in Word (other programmes are available) that you can post if you undertake this on-line direction again,
Doctor Nasty |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I suggested this around 18 mnths ago and nothing came of it then, it would make sense to have a BDSM room as the people in there would have the same interest and not get offended. Defo gets my vote |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"If not a fab room why not start a new site which people can chat online and indulge in their kink. Seems like fab is missing out on a business opportunity. "
Deffo this and a ladies only site bi or gay |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Far to many users of chat have too much to say about others when they really should take long hard looks in the mirror.
F*ck what others think. You are here for your pleasure NOT theirs!
You are also here for my pleasure Angel to be fair "
Well what you do with your cock while I ain't looking or knowing is up to you... but call me selfish, my sole reason to be on here is for MY pleasure as and when I want it! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"We have a bdsm room where people can chat, get tied up, used and many other delicious things. Visitors welcome"
and can we ask where is this virtual chat room?? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Taking a outsider look
We haven't really experianced bdsm before but have watched movies etc on the net and it seems facinating
After reading this thread we agree it is a good idea to have a room like that as it opens a new world so to speak
However if we were to jump striaght into a bdsm site then I think it be too soon, maybe have a fetish room with more and diffrent rules just for that room,
This will allow couples like ourselves that are looking in to it to gain more confidence within the fetish scene
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Far to many users of chat have too much to say about others when they really should take long hard looks in the mirror.
F*ck what others think. You are here for your pleasure NOT theirs!"
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Far to many users of chat have too much to say about others when they really should take long hard looks in the mirror.
F*ck what others think. You are here for your pleasure NOT theirs!"
true!!! |
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Hey All,
It's something which we would appreciate.
Fetlife is all good but it's not a chat or cam site. I want to let go on subby and use crops and canes. Don't think that is allowed or would be liked by a lot of regulars.
We are new here so maybe this is on the way to reality and we joined at the right time
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