FabSwingers.com > Forums > Chat room feedback/discussion > Where am I going wrong....?
Where am I going wrong....?
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Hello to all FS members and thanks to anyone who reads or replies...
Just wanted to ask for some advice from any seasoned FS members with several (or any) meet verifications under their belts.
I've been a member a while now and I really have tried various different approaches when looking to arrange a meet. I appreciate right now we are not encouraged to meet anyone so it's definitely a bad time to approach people and I tend to agree we should be careful. Although, having said that, I am so hungry it's beginning to get a bit frustrating.
I never have and never will sleep around too but after being a site member for around 1 year (2ith this and another profil) I have had absolutely no luck with any attempts to meet up.. I was setting my standards too high initially but then decided to approach some who aren't usually my type....but still no joy
My msgs are polite, usually with a touch of humour,...or an attempt, tried talking a bit naughty without going OTT and never pure filth. I've been sending short direct messages and longer detailed msgs, all with a clear head shot.
I know there's not an exact science to this kind of thing but I'm quite a good looking lad but nobody seem interested.
Really can be a bit soul destroying this constant rejection and historically I'm really not used to it..luckily I'm thick skinned.
Please can anyone offer some advice?
Thanks
Jimmy |
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By *anebondWoman
over a year ago
Manchester |
Your profile is off putting hun, just sounds like ur complaining and who wants to fuk a moaner. I read a few line's and left quickly. And what's with the picture of ur hand with something drawn on it?!?!!!
Just be straight, I am looking for, I am in too, I have experience or no experience in the scene etc and no stupid picture's too ur 41 not 14. |
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Your pictures are ok but I have to agree with the ladies above, your bio reads pretty whiney. You've been on for roughly a year & we spent 6 months from march/April in lockdown, most people haven't had anything since then either 
Would you really be interested in you if you read your profile? |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Thanks and all noted.
My profile didn't look like that initially.
The stupid hand with eyes and ranting is a direct result of me getting nowhere. Patiently and politely (but not overly so) having friendly chat and banter but never managing to develop the conversation any further. Always hitting a brick wall or being ignored when a polite suggestion is made to develop the conversation.
Can't expect everyone to be immediately interested but after a while, as I'm sure you can understand, rejection does start to get to most of us, even if only a little bit.
Think I was so used to having it fairly easy until now that this is a much needed wake up call, the rejection I mean. Makes us stronger or make us develop a sense of self loathing.
So, the rant, which is intended as a crap joke I suppose just blurted out of my head one evening when I wondered why I was bothering with FS.
The hand was some sort of immature dig at the feeling of nobody being interested or to be taking me seriously.
Yep hand photo doesn't help does it and I guess I am having a spoilt bitch n moan at my sexual frustration....but hey, nothing wrong with havan appetite.
It's only with you spelling it all out that I realise how I must appear to other members. Kid throwing toys out of pram kind of vibe.
Thanks for the feedback. Really is appreciated. My other profile was grown up, honest.
Best get to work ASAP and update update update.....but whilst I'm here, is anyone interested in ...  |
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I can't speak for your other attempts, as I see this profile is 4 weeks old. In pre-virus times, men would expect it to take months to get established. It's obviously going to be MUCH MUCH slower now, as people are not meeting. They have friends from before March and others they've been waiting to meet, so people they don't know are back of the queue.
Lots of posts give help to single men who struggle, almost all of them stressing the need for your profile to sell you very well.
Otherwise, other main advice is to meet socially at clubs, building your circle.
If you have photos, ask yourself for each 1 whether it helps others to better create a realistic image of how you look. If viewers can truly grasp this, they'll know if they could find you attractive. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Thanks Sophieslut.
Solid advice. Yes I should probably revert to the other original profile and shut this down. Fully understand the virus comments and I don't blame anyone for being apprehensive about meeting anybody new in this sticky mess we've gotten ourselves in.
Cheers. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Thanks and all noted.
My profile didn't look like that initially.
The stupid hand with eyes and ranting is a direct result of me getting nowhere. Patiently and politely (but not overly so) having friendly chat and banter but never managing to develop the conversation any further. Always hitting a brick wall or being ignored when a polite suggestion is made to develop the conversation.
Can't expect everyone to be immediately interested but after a while, as I'm sure you can understand, rejection does start to get to most of us, even if only a little bit.
Think I was so used to having it fairly easy until now that this is a much needed wake up call, the rejection I mean. Makes us stronger or make us develop a sense of self loathing.
So, the rant, which is intended as a crap joke I suppose just blurted out of my head one evening when I wondered why I was bothering with FS.
The hand was some sort of immature dig at the feeling of nobody being interested or to be taking me seriously.
Yep hand photo doesn't help does it and I guess I am having a spoilt bitch n moan at my sexual frustration....but hey, nothing wrong with havan appetite.
It's only with you spelling it all out that I realise how I must appear to other members. Kid throwing toys out of pram kind of vibe.
Thanks for the feedback. Really is appreciated. My other profile was grown up, honest.
Best get to work ASAP and update update update.....but whilst I'm here, is anyone interested in ... "
Be patient. Fabs as you know is a slow process.
Good luck. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Not been rude pal ! But your not the only one and by going on by wat the women are saying I ain’t going to bother hitting up your profile ! Just be you and definitely take the women’s advice on your profile ! It will happen eventually |
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By *ankie303Woman
over a year ago
Weirdsville South Coast Dorset |
"direct result of me getting nowhere"
5 weeks in and now reduced to "tbc".......
Have you considered other options like "swipe to hook up" sites as fab isn't really the place for hissy fits and tantrums |
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TBH if you can't handle rejection, as previous post on this thread imply, you have to consider whether swinging is really for you.
Lets face it anyone that was here six months before covid, without any meets, if that is what they came here for, should seriously consider another hobby.
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Guys....
I must quickly explain something as it would seem that this post is starting to backfire.
I wasn't having a hissy fit or throwing a strop, I was complaining about lack of success but most definitely with tongue in cheek. Admittedly I thought it would be easier than it has been to meet people, easier than it has been so far and I had no idea at just how many single blokes would be on FS but that's all purely down to lack of experience.
Yes the point of my post was serious and a genuine request for advice but I'm an intelligent 41yr old guy who definitely hasn't lived a sheltered life and until my recent redundancy, I was working as a director of a London based media company so I'm no idiot.
I know this kinda thing takes time and I didn't expect anything on a plate, especially with current situation, so please don't think I'm clueless or a stroppy brat who is upset over not getting what I want.
Yes I would love to meet sexy beautiful people on FS but I know I need to be patient.
I removed all of my profile text after agreeing with the first few replies to my post, profile text which I'd rewritten 2 or 3 times already, once written as a sarcastic rant but until I have time to think and write something much better and more meaningful, tbc shall remain.
Regardless of some people most definitely misinterpreting my post and the kind of person I am (not a spoilt twat)... thanks to everyone for your comments and consideration, even those who seemed unimpressed.
Regards
Jimbo. |
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Join the crowd. The odds are about 200 to 1 man, and there are always more desirable men than you and me.
My messages are much like yours, i too have tried every permutation. After a while you wonder if it matters what you say. All you can do is be yourself.
Your 2 pics, is that the best you can do? You describe yourself as athletic, are you sure? |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Thanks....I think!
Ok,slim?
I need to upload updated photos as the one where I'm sitting is about 1.5yrs old, I've changed jobs (not out of choice) since then and I'm a lot more toned and muscular due to the work I've been doing.
Also more toned and muscular than the one where I'm standing and puffing out my chest a bit....bit sad and both crap photos I grant you.
You're right about just being yourself but if that's the case then I'm definitely fucked!!! (not literally....of course) |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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I'll tell you what I have noticed though...
A good way to get noticed and your profile viewed a lot more, in fact a hell of a lot more, is by posting on the forum, especially a post where you are sounding like a desperate twat asking for help due to your profile being crap!
I've inadvertently quadrupled the number of daily profile views since posting this. I wondered why so many people from random places nowhere near me were viewing me... then the penny eventually dropped.
The down side is that I've now highlighted the fact that I'm desperate for a shag and need help getting one to the entire FS membership, oh bollox!!
Swings n roundabouts! |
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"I'll tell you what I have noticed though...
A good way to get noticed and your profile viewed a lot more, in fact a hell of a lot more, is by posting on the forum, especially a post where you are sounding like a desperate twat asking for help due to your profile being crap!
I've inadvertently quadrupled the number of daily profile views since posting this. I wondered why so many people from random places nowhere near me were viewing me... then the penny eventually dropped.
The down side is that I've now highlighted the fact that I'm desperate for a shag and need help getting one to the entire FS membership, oh bollox!!
Swings n roundabouts! "
You ask a question, so people check your profile. How is that surprising? |
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By *sGivesWoodWoman
over a year ago
ST. AUSTELL, CORNWALL |
5 weeks isn't a while, you are very new to fab and have joined in a pandemic with a blank profile. There's plenty of advice on my profile should you wish to use it OP, good luck and enjoy your fab journey. X |
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"I'll tell you what I have noticed though...
A good way to get noticed and your profile viewed a lot more, in fact a hell of a lot more, is by posting on the forum, especially a post where you are sounding like a desperate twat asking for help due to your profile being crap!
I've inadvertently quadrupled the number of daily profile views since posting this. I wondered why so many people from random places nowhere near me were viewing me... then the penny eventually dropped.
The down side is that I've now highlighted the fact that I'm desperate for a shag and need help getting one to the entire FS membership, oh bollox!!
Swings n roundabouts! "
Swings & roundabouts indeed, now take a step back, a big breath & think on how you can turn that into a better impression of yourself & your 'tongue in cheek' side.
Good luck |
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By *sGivesWoodWoman
over a year ago
ST. AUSTELL, CORNWALL |
"Bbwlookingforfun - thanks for your kind words.
Msgiveswood - maybe read the thread. "
Thankyou for your concern, however, I did read the thread and can only comment on what I have seen so far both on it and you current profile at the time of reading it. My offer of help with advice on my profile still stands, it has helped quite a few people on here over the years and am well qualified as I have quite a few verifications due to organising local socials.  |
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By *erlins5Man
over a year ago
South Fife |
It takes a lot of patience to enjoy the fun this site has to offer....and I must say it is getting harder as more and more single guys join. Just be yourself and if someone likes you the great....if they don`t...well that`s life. You may want to pad your profile out a bit...at the moment it says nothing about you.
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