| If you've seen the outside... It is everything you think it would be. Right down to the '70s country music. Except with almost no nudity. On the weekday afternoon I went all the other women, and most men, were more covered than at the local swimming pool.
But it's the only unambiguously legal place for al fresco female nakedness in Central London. And I didn't pay 16 quid to read with my clothes on. So.
The staff were numerous, friendly, helpful and accommodating. Learnt my name, kept my drinks topped up and offered to look after my book while I was in the spa.
The steam rooms, saunas and pool (pointless, it needs one of those current making things to swim against) were all well kept. And mostly empty until I went in...
It's kind of odd to be naked in a small hot windowless room with 5 strange men in towels. But I'm not sure it would be much less odd if they were naked too. It wasn't not fine...
Personally I didn't fancy the (popular) jacuzzis and don't see the use case for the rest rooms beyond miserable infidelity.
The outside was a bit smokey but if you pop down the end it's possible to read in peace under a neighbouring tree. I was the only taker for the (moderately) cold plunge pool.
The towels and lockers were fine but the wrist strap thing was too big even for my ankle so I ended up just sort of holding it.
With my sunglasses on I didn't have to resort to talking loudly about my second book (on managing data complexity) to get rid of anyone. So overall I'd say I felt pretty safe and relaxed despite not being their target audience - the lady at reception checked several times that I knew what I was walking into!
The location on a busy high street makes coming and going feel as safe as possible. It is what it is. And that has an appeal of its own I guess. In summer anyway.
Date: 9 May 2024
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