 | It was our first visit to Club Play last night, travelling across the country with a group of friends.
Initial impressions of the club were that it was clean, well cooled, a fair size with plenty of different rooms. Staff were friendly and the locals seemed like a nice bunch.
For the most part our night went well, however there were two incidents that have put us off from going back again.
Firstly the couples orgy room, where only couples and single women are allowed. Whilst some of us were in there, one of the ladies left for the loo and was gone longer than expected. We were immediately pounced on by staff, telling us there were too many men in the room. Yes, there was, but only temporarily. There's also the grossly inappropriate assumption, and verging on homophobic, that all couples are heterosexual - for all the staff knew two of the men could have been a couple and there could actually have been an extra woman, but nobody thought to ask. Play disturbed we left the room, and the temporarily 'extra' guy in question was told he wouldn't be allowed back in the room. Why? Was there any need to make him feel so awkward?
Towards the end of the night we were in the wet room, using both the pool and the hot tub. A single guy that one of our party had previously played with that night got in the tub, despite it being at capacity and us telling him this. He proceeded to play with this same member of our group, but also touching another member without asking. Unhappy with this we gave him the 'talk' on consent. Shortly after he left the wet room.
We moved to the pool and he returned, heading straight for the same member of our party. Once she had indicated that enough was enough, he followed Fwonkle as she exited the pool and got into the tub. Uneasy about this she indicated for me to come over - her unease was warranted when this guy started to initiate unwanted contact with her. I swiftly made it clear, again, that this was unacceptable. He then went off on a drunken rant about how he was sorry and wanted to respect us, with us saying maybe he should start by not touching without permission.
I alerted staff to this incident, and he was apparently spoken to and asked to give us a wide berth. Ten minutes later he was back asking Fwonkle if she wanted to go upstairs. At this point in hindsight we should have alerted staff again, but why should we continually interrupt our evening to report the same person? In our opinion he should have been dealt with using a zero tolerance approach and asked to leave for the night, which is what would have happened at other clubs we visit. The night wasn't that busy, staff should at the very least have been keeping an eye on him.
Whilst queueing to settle bills he was in front of us in the queue, again engaging us, asking if we'd had a good night, laughing, almost goading. I struggled to keep my cool. Staff attitude was 'oh he's just had a few beers' - not acceptable. He was quite obviously not in control and should not have been allowed to drink and get into the state that he was and yet up to the point we left he was being served alcohol. Again this wouldn't have happened at other clubs.
Speaking to the group afterwards it seemed that a few of them had experienced 'handsy' men, and when actually asked 'don't you ask permission here?' they were told 'no'.
Obviously the men at this club are allowed to get away with non-consensual contact without repercussion. Signs around the club say 'No means no'. Again, wrong attitude. Women shouldn't have to say no or fend off unwanted advances, the signs should say 'always ask consent' or, like my local club, 'May I join you'. There should be a total zero tolerance to this sort of behaviour and it shouldn't just be brushed away, which we felt it had been.
We will not be returning unless we hear that this situation improves.
Date: 22 July 2023
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