 | Chameleons Darlaston – August 2008We visited Chameleons (Commonly referred to on the scene as ‘Chams’) in August of 2008 on the bank holiday Sunday. We have visited the club once before way back in 2004 and had intended to come back a lot sooner, but being based in London, it’s something of a mission for us to get there, so the infrequency of our visits is not a reflection on the club itself. We visited the club on Sunday because we had been to Xtasia’s the night before. Sunday is a mixed night for both couples and singles. When we review a club, we write all this from memory, we NEVER take any notes when we are in the club itself and usually try and write up the review within 36 hours. You will see why we mentioned this later. We arrived at the club at 4pm and stayed until it shut at 1am. (The opening times vary, but the club is open almost all week)The ClubChameleons is one of the veteran clubs on the scene, it is located in Darlaston, a small town on the outskirts of Birmingham, it’s also very close to Walsall and West Bromwich. On both occasions we have visited, we’ve been taken their by our friend Jed so we didn’t have to find the club ourselves. The entrance is at the back of a high street with plenty of parking and good security; it’s also quite discreet, so if you haven’t been before, phone for a description of what to look out for so you can find the door though you will find their web site very helpful and comprehensive. At reception, we were quickly booked in and given our locker key, and as we also had luggage from our trip, the owners, most helpfully, gave us somewhere to store our larger bags on the premises, which was very much appreciated. The cost for couples on a Sunday is £18, couples only night is on a Saturday which costs £30 after 6pm. Prices vary at other times. The couples locker room and changing area is located upstairs on the first floor of the building. The club allows you to bring your own booze and store it at the bar, allocated with your locker number, you can also quote your locker number for buying soft drinks, food and snacks at the bar, so you do not need to carry any cash around with you in the club. You settle up the bill when you leave.Chams is a sauna style club, so the dress code for the men is towels or shorts that are above the knee in length, women can wear towels or erotic outfits / underwear. We know this is not everyone’s bag, but we should advise you not to let it off you visiting. It’s going to be hard to describe the layout of this place with complete and total accuracy, as Chams is a real rabbit warren! So forgive us for any inaccuracies. The club is spread over three floors though it seems like more. On the ground floor, once past reception you come into the main bar and chill out lounge. It’s bigger than it seems at first, with plenty of seating, just ahead of the bar is a dance pole and small dance floor, which Asha made good use of later on. Either side of this are more seating areas, one of which leads to small curtained room which I remembered chilling in from 2004. There is also a toilet near the bar that’s easy to miss. Heading further into the club is the male locker room, another toilet and two large Jacuzzi’s, both of which could easily hold 30 people plus. There is also a shower nearby for having a rinse when you get out. Nearby stairs lead to the first floor, this floor has a lot of rooms so it’s probably just best to list them, they include a large cinema/playroom, a seated corridor that leads to a good size couples only playroom with mirrors on the walls, the couples changing room, a large chill out room with television and sofas (Very popular on football nights with the men, we were told) up another corridor is a viewing port for the couples room and also a covered open smoking area with heating for when its cold and a sun deck for when its warm. This is a great social area, even if you don’t smoke. Elsewhere on this level are also private lockable play rooms, which are of a good size, more toilets and two sets of stairs that go up to another level. One staircase splits off to the Dungeon room, which is the club fetish area, with love swing, grope box and chains on the walls etc. Elsewhere there is also another shower, very hot sauna; we think also a steam room, larger showers and a play room with a massive large circular bed in the centre, ideal for greedy girls. On the top level there is another large playroom with a mirror on the ceiling, some more lockable rooms. Forgive us if we missed some things out, but we came to the club to actually play, not just to write this. Chams also offers accommodation next door to the club and has around ten rooms available, check with them for prices and availability.The NightChams is one of the busiest clubs in the country and on the strength of what we saw on our second visit it’s easy to see why. Hands down, no question, this club is excellent and while it won’t always be for the anti-towel brigade we can’t see how you could not have a good time here. Even though we do like to dress up and I am not a towel fan, the relaxed nature of the club and the layout of it, actually makes towels a much more practical garment for this venue. The owners clearly listen to the advice of their members as you can see how much the club had changed and improved since our last visit, and we thought it was good then. The addition of the second Jacuzzi is a huge bonus meaning, even when it’s busy, you can normally squeeze into one of them. Everything had been repainted, the lounge/bar and changing areas seemed bigger, the smokers area was no doubt a welcome addition for many and the club was very clean both at the beginning and the end of the day, so staff obviously do a few rounds as the day goes on. The staffs worked very hard, were polite and helpful and were, thankfully, discreet when dealing with any apparent problems (See below) and equally they are also not intrusive. The club has a good level with the lighting and seemed pretty well air conditioned through out. We have no idea how many people were there that night, perhaps some 30 plus singles and well over 60 couples and some single females including one we knew from another club. That’s a total guess though.The bar has a great selection of soft drinks at reasonable prices and also does a selection of food should you get hungry. The club is very sociable, loads of our friends recognised us from the net and came to say hello which was great, and though some people were, naturally, in their own groups, there was a greater number of people who were willing to chat and make you feel welcome. Chams does have a reputation for being laid back and friendly and it is deserved. We made a number of friends on the night and at one point we thought we were going to have to leave early so, not wanting to get my phone out of the locker in the club (Which is not allowed of course) Alex grabbed his diary and rushed round to find everyone before we left, this and some conversations we had about a project Jed is helping us with, led some people to mistakenly conclude that we were reporters doing a story on swinging, so mid shag, Alex was called out (discreetly) to find out what he had been doing by the Management. Fortunately he showed them the diary with all the numbers in it from people, and we all just had a laugh about it. We did tell them we always review all the clubs we visit, but as said before, we don’t write anything down on the night. We have to say, as embarrassing as this was, we think this reflected well on the club, because they were quite right to investigate it and we are glad they did so. Despite the fact that Jed will be ribbing us on this for years to come, it is reassuring to know they take the privacy of their customers (Including us) very seriously. As it turned out, we then didn’t have to leave the club early anyway
Date: 26 August 2008
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